The Four Oddest Things Found at This Year's Texas-Beach Clean-Up

The annual volunteer clean-up of Texas beaches resulted in some good news -- less trash had to be picked up.

About 137 tons of trash of all sorts was collected, the Texas General Land Office says, which sounds like a lot. But over the 26 years of the event, the average annual take is 319 tons.

"What I hope this means is that folks are starting to get the message that trashing Texas beaches isn't cool," said GLO commissioner Jerry Patterson. "The only way to really address this problem is at the source."

As always, some oddities were found. This year's haul included:

4. A bowling ball Not that odd, really, because a) everyone brings a bowling ball to the beach, and b) when they do they forget it when they're packing up, and c) bowling balls are very good at floating, so it could have traveled thousands of miles from some foreign bowling alley. (We assume it wasn't some wimpy ball weighing less than 12 pounds -- which extensive Web research has shown would float -- because such a petite bowling ball would never show its face on a manly Texas beach.)

3. A hazmat mask While there may be reasonable explanations for this, we prefer to think it came from kinky beach escapades. Surely there's a hazmat-mask fetish group out there someplace.

2. An aluminum hand-held grenade launcher All y'all stinging jellyfish think you're fixin' to mess with me?

1. A bottle with two Cuban IDs inside Two stowaways romantically and symbolically tossing their old Cuban-regime IDs to the sea as they make their way to a new life in America? Or, alternatively, the world's worst-designed delivery system for people in America who want authentic Cuban IDs?

The world needs to know.

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Richard Connelly
Contact: Richard Connelly