The Good Thing About Soccer Is That You Don’t Have to Worry About Breaking a Nail

Hey girls, tired of how confusing soccer is? Want to find out why your boyfriend can’t peel his eyes away from the game? Or do you just want to meet some cute soccer boys?

[insert girl giggles and shrieks here]

Yeah, we weren’t exactly drawn in either when we received the press release from The Hucksters, a PR agency that apparently thinks most women are clueless when it comes to soccer. The agency is hosting an event called Houston Dynamo Soccer 101, which is aimed at teaching all the clueless women of Houston about the sport.

Well, Hucksters, thanks for the sexist assumptions, but here’s the deal: women aren’t the only ones who don’t understand soccer – there’s this other gender, let’s call them “men,” who also don’t.

Why don’t you try hosting an event opened to anyone who is interested in learning about soccer instead of singling out women?

From the press release:

Soccer 101 will bring together women from all walks of life to kick off their heels and learn a bit more about the game of Soccer. Come learn for any reason – your kids play, your boyfriend is obsessed, you love the sport or you simply think the soccer players are cute.

Kick off their heels? Boyfriends? Cute? Where’s Lisa Simpson when you need her?

It’s too bad they couldn’t calm women’s other worries by saying things like “We know it will be hard to pull yourself out of the kitchen, but come on, those casseroles can wait. Your mother-in-law won’t mind. The ironing will still be there tomorrow.”

Hucksters, consider this our formal request for you to rethink this event and keep the demographics of Houston soccer fans in mind. If not, we recommend keeping flyers for this event away from places like Houston Women’s Soccer Association, the University of Houston Women’s Soccer Team or the countless number of El Battalion and Texian Army women fans who don’t seem to have a problem “understanding” the complicated game of soccer. -- Dusti “Don’t Ask Me, I’m Just a Girl” Rhodes

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