Face it, major league baseball isn't exactly lighting Houston on fire these days.
Still, the weather's getting warmer, and that means it's baseball time whether you like it or not.
So if the on-field action at Minute Maid doesn't keep your attention, keep yourself amused by considering the filthy terms used on the diamond.
Like these nine:
9. Backdoor slider Cineastes still debate which of the series was better, Backdoor Slider 9: Slippery When Lubed or Backdoor Slider 26: Rearin' to Go.
(Note: Astroglide not affiliated with the Houston Astros.)
8. Golden Sombrero A hat-centric spinoff of the classic golden shower, this involves letting pee pool in the curved rim of the sombrero and then -- well, you don't wanna know.