The Penis-Size Map: One More Reason Texas Should Secede

This map, from the Web site TargetMap, offers a vicious slur on American males when it comes to dick size, clearly giving us the short end of the stick, as it were.

The trouble, as far as we can tell, is that wimpy small-dick states like Vermont and, we don't know, Oregon, are lumped in with Texas.

We're sure if Texas was broken out as a separate entity, that things would look very different indeed. Finally something Rick Perry supports actually makes sense.

One ray of hope: The research behind the map shows that many estimates are "self-reported." Not the U.S's 5.1 inches, which is officially listed as "measured," but Uruguay, South Africa and Peru, among others, we're taking with a grain of salt.

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Richard Connelly
Contact: Richard Connelly