The Situation is in town!! He's here for a show, but you probably already knew that. Hey, hey -- that's not an insult. We're not saying you're the kind of person who follows The Situation's career or anything. Just that you're a dedicated Rocks Off reader.
(Note: That Rocks Off item indicates the show was Saturday, but it must have been changed somewhere along the way.)
The erstwhile Mike Sorrentino was on a flight from Newark to Bush yesterday evening; he got bumped from first class and ended up sitting in coach right behind a friend of ours. He reports The Situation was very nice, friendly, and chatty with everyone. (Our Craig Hlavaty reports The Situation was at Rich's Saturday night, though so he must be one commutin' fool.)
Seven utterly The Situation things our friend overheard, without really trying:
1) "You don't seem like the GTL type to me is all." In case you're not up on your lingo, "GTL" stands for "Guido-loving Total Loser." Or maybe "Gym, Tan, Laundry." Take your pick.
2) "I do want to settle down some day, I mean, but if a girl don't cook, what's the point. It's definitely a lost art." Marriage: He's only in it for the food. Better brush up on your Sopranos Family Cookbook, gals.
3) "I am not a rapper by any means but Taylor Swift is pretty hot so I gotta collaborate wit her." Taylor Swift, OG.
4) "Yeah, I put it in the contract I only want red M&Ms. (laughs) That's called a rider, yo." The Situation, savvy show-biz negotiator.
5) "You use Twitter? Twitter is getting huge, man." And there's this thing called the iPhone that is going to be really big, trust me.....
6) "Yo, I just want to let you know I was in the middle seat up there, but it was too tiny so I saw this seat and I just transformed myself to here." We don't think "transformed" means what you think it means.
7) "Do you want to watch The Day After Tomorrow with me?" Who could resist a come-on like that? You had us at The Day After Tomorrow. At least until the tidal wave hits Manhattan, then it gets kinda boring.
Other snippets of news: The Situation believes there will be four more seasons of Jersey Shore, two a year for the next two years. He plans to do them, barring -- we guess -- some other exciting thing happening in his career.
Also, he's getting a Bentley for his Fourth of July birthday.
Note: our pal took a picture on the plane that's fuzzy but definitely looks like The Situation to us....
But maybe it was one of those impostors trying to get tail? The world wonders.
"Looks like him, same nose," our friend says. "The whole thing felt a bit like an act, so maybe it was some impostor. That'd be impressive in its own right."
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.