In retrospect, considering the times we live in and the tendency for NFL players with a little bit of money in their pockets to live on the edge, it's one of the more amazing streaks in all of sports. Up until yesterday, the Houston Texans had gone more than six calendar years without an arrest. The last time a Texans player got cuffed and stuffed was in June of 2009 when fullback Vonta Leach was arrested for an altercation in North Carolina.
Six seasons. That's well over a few hundred players to come and go through the doors of the house on Kirby. You'd think math would've caught up to this team a long time ago, but there's something to be said for seeking character and having a process. That's what makes the end of the streak, which occurred Wednesday morning, so exasperating.
The Texans' crime-aversion streak was ended at 8:00 a.m. Wednesday when un-drafted rookie defensive lineman Brandon Ivory, who played at Alabama, was cuffed in Tuscaloosa on two counts of first degree burglary and was placed in the Tuscaloosa County Jail pending a $120,000 bond.
Let me say that again — an un-drafted rookie ended this six year streak of criminal cleanliness. That's like having a perfect game broken up in the bottom of the ninth by the batboy. That's like having Tony Soprano get whacked by one of the busboys at Vesuvio. For this streak to be ended and the Texans to be placed anywhere on the standings of the Fantasy Crime League by this shrub is a real travesty.
Here are the details of the incident from a Tuscaloosa Police Department press release:
Tuscaloosa police responded to a residence in the 1700 Block of E. 17th Ave. on a burglary in progress call at 8 a.m. this morning (July 1). Upon arrival, officers spoke with two victims who were inside the residence when the burglary occurred. The victims stated the suspects kicked in the back door and demanded items from the victims. One suspect was armed with an assault rifle and the other suspect was armed with a knife.
Also charged in all of this was Nicholas Gerald Gibson III, 21, of Tuscaloosa. He also is in the county jail pending a $120,000 bond.
For their part, the Texans issued a brief, terse statement on the matter:
“The Houston Texans are aware of the police report regarding DT Brandon Ivory in Tuscaloosa, Ala. At this time, we will have no further comment until we gather all of the relevant facts.”
Relevant facts or no relevant facts, none of the discovery process or subsequent outcome can keep the Texans someplace they've never been before — in the standings of the NFL Fantasy Crime League (created in 2013). Welcome to the party, boys!
FANTASY CRIME LEAGUE STANDINGS
DETROIT LIONS .. 10 points
* 4/17/15: Lions OL Rodney Austin is arrested for assault on a female, assault on a child under 12, interference with emergency communications, and misdemeanor larceny (assuming three felonies and one misdemeanor here)
BALTIMORE RAVENS .. 6 points
* 3/1/15: Ravens DB Victor Hampton is arrested for DWI.
* 3/18/15: Ravens RB Bernard Pierce is arrested for DUI.
GREEN BAY PACKERS .. 6 points
* 2/3/15: Packers DT Letroy Guion is arrested for felony possession of marijuana and felony possession of a firearm.
ATLANTA FALCONS .. 3 points
* 5/29/15: Falcons LB Prince Shembo is arrested for felony animal cruelty.
CHICAGO BEARS .. 3 points
* 5/25/15: Bears DL Ray McDonald reportedly is arrested on charges of domestic violence.
DENVER BRONCOS .. 3 points
* 6/3/15: Broncos administrative employee John Bowlen is arrested on domestic violence charges.
SAN FRANCISCO 49ers .. 3 points
* 3/5/15: 49ers FB Bruce Miller is arrested for spousal battery.
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS ... 2 points
* 2/3/15: Colts LB D'Qwell Jackson is arrested for assault.
* 2/5/15: Colts RB Ahmad Bradshaw is charged with marijuana possession.
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SHOW ME HOW
HOUSTON TEXANS .. 1 point
* 7/1/15: Texans DL Brandon Ivory is arrested for first-degree burglary.
DALLAS COWBOYS ... 1 point
* 2/3/15: Cowboys RB Joseph Randle is cited for marijuana (unclear if it's a misdemeanor or just a citation, so FCL scoring is pending)
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS .. 1 point
* 3/29/15: Saints CB Brian Dixon is arrested for resisting arrest without violence.
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