The Ten Worst Things Texas Has Given to the Modern World

If we were to list all the great, terrific things Texas, Our Texas has given to civilization, we would be here all day. (Two words: Jessica Simpson.)

Unfortunately, Texas has also gifted America and the world with some things the world and America would no doubt like to give back.

There are only ten, in our view, although your mileage may vary.

So, world, sorry about these:

10. Breast Implants Houston was the epicenter for placing stupid-looking foreign objects into the breasts of perfectly fine-looking women so that they could then bleed dry the bank accounts of doctors, bankers and oilmen. (David Schwimmer and Chris Cooper starred in a movie about it.)

There may be some good, subtle implant jobs out there, but the industry seems determined to churn out immobile, plastic-looking titties that fool no one. For this, America, we apologize. Or at least some of us do.

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Richard Connelly
Contact: Richard Connelly