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The Top Five Reasons You Need Mexicans

To further educate our reading audience about important national issues like immigration, the economy and race relations, we have again asked guest columnist Conchita Maria Guadalupe Maria Hortencia Juanita Maria Garcia Gomez Gonzles de Smith to comment on America’s need for an immigrant work force.

The United States would be a completely different country without Mexicans. (Please note, I use the word “Mexicans” as a general term to mean everybody from Latin America who has come to the U.S. They aren’t all Mexican, I know, but that’s how I do it. Mostly because almost nobody calls them “wet backs” in public anymore (shout out to Mac Haik!). Also because saying “undocumented immigrants from Latin America” is too long to say every time. And I can’t call them “undocumented workers,” because some of them mofos ain’t working.) Just to make sure you understand the full impact of Mexicans on our economy, I’ve listed the top five reasons you need Mexicans. Enjoy.

Reason Number Five: Without Mexicans, lettuce would cost $15 a head and grapes would be considered caviar.

Mexicans do most of the country’s farm work, and they do it for less than half of the usual salary. No, not the running a tractor or spraying insecticide work. Mexicans do all the jobs that require standing, bent over row of vegetables, in the hot, burning sun, for 14 hours a day, and they do it for about $2 an hour.

Reason Number Four: Without Mexicans, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck would be out of a job.

What else do those two do but blame Mexicans for every problem in the U.S.? (Like we started a war in the Middle East or something. Please.)

Reason Number Three: Without Mexicans, you would have to take care of your own family.

You, yes, you, would have to take care of your own kids, clean your own house, mow your own lawn, and take care of your own elderly parents. Yeah, there are still a few decent daycares in the country, and yeah, you could get the kid down the block to mow your lawn, but who is going to wipe your dad’s saggy huevos? Or your mom’s guachanga? Believe me, not you.

Reason Number Two: Without Mexicans, every Chinese restaurant would have to close due to lack of workers.

Every Chinese restaurant in town has Vietnamese waiters and Mexican kitchen staff. Who is washing the dishes? Not the Chinese restaurant owner who is flying back and forth from Hong Kong to smuggle over priceless Asian artifacts.

Reason Number One: Without Mexicans, the wall Republicans want to build across the U.S./Mexico border wouldn’t get built.

Any construction job in the U.S. that pays less than $10 an hour, a Mexican is doing it. And for sure, all those billions of dollars the GOP is allocating for the wall ain’t going to the construction; they’re going to phantom supply purchases and costly consultant fees.

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Thank you for reading. - Conchita

Click here to see locations for tonight’s screening of Border, a film by Chris Burgard.

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