The Dallas Cowboys will start the NFL season not only with a new stadium worth over a billion dollars, but with a new theme song we're betting will be worth decidedly less. We can only hope it is as offensively shitty as the team itself.
Forbes magazine reports that the team has contracted with a sports-jingle specialist -- a corporation, for crying out loud -- and the company has produced something tentatively titled "Swing It Around (Cowboy Town)."
Man, you can smell the crap from here.
No one's heard the thing yet, but the company (Banshee Music of Milwaukee, a city known for music) wrote the theme song the Green Bay Packers started using last year called "The G-Force Roar."
Yeah, we've never heard of it either, but if you listen here you see it's heavy-metal manque that sounds like a Spinal Tap reject.
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Lyrically, it offers this: Twelve men on the defense / We take no nonsense / Feel the power from the stands / Every women child and man.
So you can see why we have high, high hopes for the potential craptacularness of the Cowboys song.
Swing it around in Cowboy town / The price of crack is comin' down / No Super Bowl since `95 / Look out!! Here comes our playoff dive!!
(Man, just think of what a song you could write if only something rhymed with "Romo.")
By the way, let the word go forth from this time and place: We don't like a) the Oilers theme song that they ripped off from the Dolphins; b) the "Luv Ya Blue" song; or c) whatever POS the Texans are currently trying to push as a song.