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The Zoo's Baby Elephant: A Scientific Test Of His Dangerous Cuteness

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Just how cute is the Houston Zoo's new baby elephant? Scientists report the official ranking is "pretty damn cute."

Baylor, as he's called, has been on display for about a week, and Zoo spokesman Brian Hill says he's already a crowd favorite.

"This time of year is field-trip time, so we'll have two to three thousand kids here every morning," he tells Hair Balls. "It's been an 'oooh' and 'aaah' festival."

Baylor was born to mom Shanti May 4, weighing in at a svelte 348 pounds.

Sure, Baylor is cute. But just how cute is he?

FIRST TEST: BABY BIG EYES

A shortened trunk, a look of wide-eyed surprise at the photographer -- aces, baby, in the cuteness department.

Cuter than this?


Hmmm. Total lack of a trunk hurts this kid a bit.

Advantage: Baylor the elephant.

SECOND TEST: BABY'S FIRST WALK

Oooh, wook at the widdle guy twying to get up!! I'm kvelling or getting verklempt or something.

Well now, the look of intense concentration, the likelihood that next step isn't going to work as planned, the hairstyle....sorry, Baylor. Advantage: Human Race

THIRD TEST: BONDING WITH MOM

Is he ticking his Mom? Is he tickling his Mom and laughing? Humans, the bar has been set high on this one.

Cute, sure, but like the typical oh-so-spoiled American baby, he's letting Mom provide all the entertainment. You see him or her tickling Mom? A lesson we might learn from the animal kingdom. Advantage: Baylor the elephant

THE FOURTH -- AH, WHAT THE HELL. WE GIVE UP.


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