If, like the rest of the world, you watched with burning envy as Houston socialite Theresa Roemer showed off her lavish three-story closet on Good Morning America, your prayers may be answered: Roemer's Woodlands estate, a 17,315-square-foot paean to tackiness, is going on the auction block July 30.
This "suburban sanctuary," as it's described by Platinum Luxury Auctions, has been on the market since 2014, but Roemer and her oil-magnate hubby, Lamar, were asking a steep $12.9 million. Prospective bidders can tour the nine-bedroom, ten-bathroom palace starting July 8. In addition to the world's most famous closet, this ostentatious oasis features a movie theater and a strangely phallic chandelier dangling like the dong of Damocles over the foyer.
"This house was never meant to be a house that we would live in together," Roemer told the Houston Chronicle in December 2014, when she announced the sale. "It was always meant to be a house to flip. I want to build another one and build a bigger closet."
Protecting the sanctity of that closet is something the home's new owners will have to keep in mind: In August 2014, that beautiful, beautiful closet was burgled. The case remains unsolved. The new owners will have to remember to arm on the home's security system even if they step out for just a bit, lest someone unknown to them — a complete stranger — breaks in and steals purses and locks of hair.
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We wish Roemer and the new owners the best.