They All Look Alike To The Chronicle

Perusing the "Hot Ticket" spread in this week's Chronicle's Preview section, we came across this little doozy of a mislabeled photo:

The caption reads, in part, "Trombone Shorty (pictured here in Guitar Shorty mode) and Orleans Avenue will headline A Gulf Coast Juneteenth...7 p.m. Friday at Miller Outdoor Theatre"

No mode about it, that is in fact a picture of Guitar Shorty, a pint-sized blues guitar shredder who had a long residency on the Richmond Strip back in that now-woebegone party zone's `90s heyday. Trombone Shorty is about eight inches taller, much leaner, and a good 40 years younger than his guitar-playing namesake, but hell, they all look alike. (Shortys, that is.)

But we thought the blunder offered a kind of elegant and convenient way of laying out our pages. Can't be bothered tracking down the correct photo? Just find one with a vaguely similar name, and then just declare that the person or object is in the "mode" of whoever it was you wanted to write about.

For example, here is Tom Cruise, in the mode of Jose Cruz.

And here is President Bill Clinton, in the mode of Bushwick Bill

And here is a pile of shit, in the mode of Shinola, something the now all-too-lightly edited Chronicle is suddenly unable to differentiate.

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John Nova Lomax
Contact: John Nova Lomax