Ethan Swanson is one bad dude.
Until about 15 minutes ago, I had no idea who Ethan Swanson was, but I learned from the video in this post that he is a professional stuntman, and 15 minutes is about the amount of time it takes to watch this video.
Let me preface this by saying, I am petrified of heights. So petrified that not only am I a total wussy when it comes to roller coasters, I even hate first-person point-of-view video footage of roller coasters. My legs turn to jelly, my stomach turns into a smoldering cauldron of nerves and the "diarrhea feeling."
And yet I can't take my eyes off this Ethan Swanson video in which he defies death by jumping off of a roof while wearing a GoPro camera. My fascination with him outweighs my morbid fear of POV video filmed from way up high.
Here's the video, and a few of my thoughts afterward:
Okay, that was messed up. In a totally "What possesses someone to voluntarily do something where there's a greater than 0.000001% chance of them dying?" kind of way, that was messed up.
Here are my other thoughts:
1. If there's ever been an invention where I think the inventor specifically created it to mess with me, it's the GoPro. Either through ruining my heart with videos like this one, or tempting me to waste my day watching celebrity POV sex tapes, somehow the creator of this device was trying to prey on my greatest fears and darkest temptations. I know, it's narcissistic. But that's me.
2. The next level for the GoPro is some sort of embedded indicator for vital signs. I need to know Swanson's heart rate and blood pressure while he's sitting there talking himself into doing this. Also, I need to know Tommy Lee's heart rate and blood pressure (and blood alcohol content) when he's pounding Pamela Anderson.
3. Okay, no kidding around here. How does someone do this when there's literally no way to practice it? It took me five tries just to type this paragraph, and this dude is jumping off roofs and sliding into spiral staircases on the first try? Again, messed up.
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4. I wish there was a way to go back and retroactively attach a GoPro to Mick Foley's head during this Hell in a Cell match with the Undertaker....
5. Arian Foster thinks that Ethan Swanson is just workin' hard, tryin' to be the best lunatic he can be.