This Is It: A Yacht Rock Party How-To

"We love Pi�a Coladas and getting caught in the rain!"
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Maybe one of these days some club in Houston will get it together and host a yacht rock night. Until then, you'll just have to host a party of your own. I asked J.D. Ryznar what ingredients were needed for the perfect smooth music bash.

"It has to take place in the afternoon, and you have to have all those tropical drinks, like Pi�a Coladas," he said. "[Yacht Rock co-creator] Hunter [Stair] and I got into a fight about what the best drink would be. If you're skewing '80s, I think Jack and Tab would be good, but I can't remember what the other one was. His drink was pretty funny too."

Vodka and Fresca perhaps? We would also suggest Riunite and Lancers wine, Lowenbrau and Michelob beer, and Harvey's Bristol Cr�me liqueur. For food, serve fondue, shrimp cocktail, brie, and some fresh pineapple, limes and coconuts. Lots of fruit. You want to put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up.

And since we are 50 miles from the Gulf, there's really no excuse not to have this on the water. Get a hold of a yacht. Or failing that, a beach-house. Or at the very least, a condo or hotel room near the ocean. You have to be able to smell the saltwater. Fresh water will not do.

Men must wear khakis and Topsiders. One man and only one man may rock a white captain's hat/ blue blazer / white turtleneck ensemble. This man is the Captain, and there can be only one. (Choose by direct vote or lottery.) Women should wear floral-print dresses with huge buttons, feathered hair and those big round sunglasses. Think Charlie's Angels.

You'll need plenty of CDs, and they must contain plenty of the songs already mentioned. Think you won't have fun at a party like that? Hah. That's what a fool believes. — John Nova Lomax

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