Tilman Fertitta: ATMs for Gold Bars Are Genius

Most people, when they read about the Florida ATM that disbursed bars of gold instead of cash, thought, "Good Lord, that is possibly the most idiotic thing I've ever heard in my life. And that includes the Matrix sequels."

Tilman Fertitta, the local boy whose leaden development touch has scarred Houston, Kemah and soon the Flagship Pier in Galveston, thought something else, something along the lines of "Why didn't someone on my staff think of that first?"

Fertitta announced today that he is putting a gold-bar ATM in his Las Vegas casino.

Why?

"We offer our guests the ultimate Las Vegas experience and what's more fitting than an ATM that dispenses gold, especially since the Golden Nugget is home to the Hand of Faith, the world's largest nugget of gold," he said in a release.

It's an explanation that makes eminent sense, according to the press release.

"The gold ATM offers private investors an opportunity to expand their gold portfolio," it says. "However, the products dispensed by the machine, with their exquisite packaging, are also perfect for special gifts of lasting value."

We fully expect one of these to show up at the Downtown Aquarium or the Kemah Boardwalk, if only because gold is about as overpriced as the rides at those places.

We're sure Ron Paul will be first in line.

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Richard Connelly
Contact: Richard Connelly