We report, the world reacts.
That's pretty much what has happened in the days since we helped the Montgomery County Police Reporter break the story of Howard Keith Windham and Tina Marie Arie and the cop-car hummer heard 'round the world.
Here's a portion of what people on three continents are saying about the pair, brought to you via the magic of Google Translate:
We like the exoticism of the Hungarians: "Összebilincselt hands did not prevent Windhamet Howard Keith and Tina Marie Arie was that of a police car while they are transported to the station, quickly sucking bonyolódjanak."
Is that Hungarian for badonkadonk? (If so, they lost something in the translation.)
A California-based Spanish-language paper headlined the story: Crimen pasional: sexo en un carro de la policía.
The officer noticed that something strange was happening in the back seat when he saw in the mirror Tina's head on the lap of Windham. She said she was tired, but the officer realized what was happening and ordered them to immediately terminate your pleasant activity.
Yep, I'll bet that's pretty much exactly the way that Montgomery County Constable put it. "Ma'am, I'm gonna have to request that you immediately terminate that-there pleasant activity."
The Danes salute the "energetic Tina Marie" and say that she "was no more 'tired' than she could show a little magic. 'Windham jeans were open "and" Arie was about to serve his genitals', as it says in the police report."
Wow, never knew there was cannibalism involved...
"She was slumped on the lap of his neighbor, but not for fatigue. Windham had his pants undone, she was beside him on his genitals with his face to the wind," waxed the poetic Italians at Blitz Quotidiano.
The Dutch reaction, bluntly headlined "Woman Sucks in Police Car": "On the way to the prison knew the 44-year-old Tina Marie Arie pants of the 30-year-old Howard Keith Windham pry him a good dose of oral pampering it."
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to the mission of the Houston Press. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Houston’s stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
The Chinese termed the cop-car blow-job "a bold act of arrogance." A second Chinese source changed Tina Marie Arie's name to "Yali" and Windham to "the Wind" and then got really weird on top of that:
Police found only after the mirror in the Wind, Yali was gone, he quickly stopped the car to view the original Yali bent body, head buried in the temperature Germany Kuajian, is to concentrate on the oral sex for the Wind.
Even hawter talk!