When it comes to high school-coach rants, we have to admit we are only familiar with football coaches.
And even the worst of those never called us "highfalutin' heifers," but it's probably because we were all pretty low-falutin'.
A cheerleader coach at Cypress Woods High -- one who had obviously reached the end of her rope when it came to dealing with her team -- has been disciplined after being taped in a semi-epic rant that included the "heifer" phrase.
She had apparently been prone to such things, and a parent urged his daughter to surreptitiously tape one; he then gave the recording to KPRC.
As coach rants go it's pretty good. Not Bobby Knight territory, but the vocal level is definitely set at "pissed off."
"'I don't like the way this cheer is. Why don't we do it this way' -- Y'all don't have a mortgage. You get away with crap," the unnamed coach says.
And then: ""Who do you think you all are? Highfalutin heifers. You can just come and go as you please. Fire me!"
Sorry, we just can't help picturing Will Ferrell doing this in some movie. Or Corky St. Clair.
The Cy-Fair school district issued a statement saying the coach "is no longer supervising and coaching cheerleaders due to inappropriate comments and unprofessional conduct."
And the cheerleader who taped the rant has been disciplined for doing so.