It's that magical time of the year when the weather starts to warm up (except for this weekend -- what the hell, Houston?) and white people celebrate Mexican heritage by drinking themselves into oblivion. But if loving a margarita is wrong, I don't wanna be right, so bring on Cinco De Mayo!
But, this won't be the only drinking that is encouraged this weekend. So, for this weeks top five things to do in Houston sports, I bring you a drink-themed edition. I knew you'd like that you filthy drunk!
5. Floyd Mayweather vs. Robert Guerrero Saturday Night
Pay-Per-View Television Appropriate Drink: Shot of Tequila
There is a house on my street with a concrete front yard where family and friends gather to watch sporting events. We lovingly refer to it as "the venue." When "the venue" is at the height of its rock and roll is on fight night, particularly when someone from Mexico (or of Mexican heritage) is involved. I love listening to them cheer and yell. It's honestly some of the best entertainment in the world. Saturday night, "the venue" should be rocking.
4. Kentucky Derby Saturday, 5 p.m.
Sam Houston Race Park 7575 N. Sam Houston Parkway West Houston, Texas 77064 http://www.shrp.com Appropriate Drink: Mint Julep
It seems terribly fitting that on the same weekend as Cinco De Mayo, we have one of the whitest of sporting celebrations, the Kentucky Derby. While you might not be able to don a giant hat and sip mint juleps (ack!) at Churchill Downs, you certainly can hoof it out to Sam Houston Race Park and enjoy the festivities in the company of actual horses...and white people.
3. Gritty Goddess Saturday, 8:30 a.m.
Moody Gardens One Hope Boulevard Galveston, TX 77554 http://www.grittygoddess.com/ Appropriate Drink: Water...followed by a Dirty Martini
Alright, ladies, time to get dirty. In truth, I just wanted to write that because my dream growing up was to become a DJ at a strip club, but I digress. Galveston is hosting this charity race that will allow women to join the "sisterhood of the soil." Just like our ancestors, jog through mud and filth and sweat until you want to puke. Wait, did our ancestors jog? Anyway, it's all for a good cause, so get out there and soil yourselves! Wait, that's not right.
2. Sugar Land Skeeters vs. Lancaster Barnstormers Friday, 7:05 p.m.; Saturday, 6:05 p.m.; Sunday, 1:35 p.m.
Constellation Field 1 Stadium Drive Sugar Land, Texas 77498 http://www.sugarlandskeeters.com Appropriate Drink: Lone Star
It is possible the most entertaining baseball in Houston is being played in Sugar Land. The Skeeters are currently 11-2. Compare that to your Houston LASTros and, well, it's not close. The stadium is beautiful and the weather should be amazing, so grab a cold one and enjoy some REAL baseball.
1. Houston Rockets vs. Oklahoma City Thunder Friday, 8:35 p.m.
Toyota Center 1510 Polk Street Houston, TX 77002 http://www.rockets.com Appropriate Drink: Scotch on the Rocks (for the nerves)
Game six, boys and girls. Most of you probably thought they wouldn't get this far. Most of you would be wrong. In fact, as well as the Rockets have been playing, it could be argued they are the favorite tonight. This is the first real playoff basketball Houston has seen in a few years and the most exciting in longer. The game is sold out, but there are plenty of places to watch if you don't have Comcast (sad face). Game seven would be Sunday in OKC. Let's make it happen.
Other Goings On
Houston Astros vs. Detroit Tigers
The Astros host the Tigers for a weekend series at Minute Maid. The best thing I can say about this event is that the weather should make sitting at the ballpark an absolute joy even if the play on the field does not.