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Keep Houston Press Free
4

Top One Reason To Censor Unfunny Lists

When a list of

"Top Ten Gun Safety Tips"

begins with "Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction, such as at a hippy or a Communist," you know two things:

1) Some conservative group is involved.

2) You won't be rolling in tears of laughter by the time you finish the list. ("Hippy"? Why, you can't tell the boys from the girls these days, what with the long hair and all....)

A third thing is now known, however: If you distribute the list at a college, you're going to get threatened with punishment.

Officials at Lone Star College-Tomball (Motto: "You've never heard of us") confiscated the fliers which contained the list, which were being handed out by the Young Conservatives of Texas during "club rush." They've talked of forcing the group to disband, says one lawyer.

"I think the students are concerned enough they would file suit if this doesn't get resolved, but no one is threatening litigation," Adam Kissel tells Hair Balls. Kissel is an attorney with the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education, and he's taken on the YCT's cause.

Lone Star officials told the group in an e-mail that joking about guns on a campus is right up there with joking about bombs on an airport security line.

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"[T]he tragedy of Virginia Tech cannot be underestimated when it comes to speech relating to firearms -- however 'satirical and humorous' the speech may be perceived to some," wrote Brian Nelson, Lone Star's general counsel (Doesn't he mean "overestimated"?)

That's why the college is denying the world such comedic gems as "Dumb children might get a hold of your guns and shoot each other. If your children are dumb, put them up for adoption to protect your guns."

Oh, censorship, you are a cruel bitch.

-- Richard Connelly

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