^
Keep Houston Press Free
4
| Base |

Top Ten Reasons Roger Clemens Wasn't Invited to the Final Game at Yankee Stadium

As some of you out there might know, the New York Yankees played the last game ever at Yankee Stadium last week. They had a big ceremony with lots and lots of ex players making an appearance. But there was one man who was not invited to be a part of the festivities, and according to the

New York Post

, that man, one Roger Clemens, sat in his flooded house, with no power, watching the game on a battery-operated television with his wife and mother-in-law, and he was very, very upset that he was not asked to participate.

But I did a little checking, and I think I have found the top ten reasons that the New York Yankees didn’t ask Roger Clemens to participate.

10. They didn’t want to deal with radio analyst Suzyn Waldman breaking down on air again.

9. Roger demanded that the Yankees give his son Koby a major league contract since the Astros aren’t treating him properly.

8. With Andy Pettitte, Jason Giambi, and Chuck Knoblauch in attendance, the Yankees thought they had filled their quota of Mitchell Report players.

7. They thought the diva-quota was filled by the presence of Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez.

6. Wade Boggs and Johnny Damon were there, so they figured they had enough former Boston Red Sox in attendance.

5. The Rocket wanted to bring his own trainer, and hey, the Yankees have been there and done that.

4. They listened to all of the Houstonians bitching about the baseball players traveling because of Hurricane Ike, so they thought that it was better to leave the Rocket alone.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

3. Hey, they didn’t invite Jose Canseco either.

2. There weren’t enough seats in Yankee Stadium for all of his mistresses.

1. He’s a jerk.

-- John Royal

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.