Trial of Faith

Like many custody battles, the fight over Sami Kabbani and Teresa Lauderdale’s two girls has been long and nasty. There were almost 1,000 evidence exhibits. The court transcript alone is so extensive that a copy costs almost $30,000. Kabbani spent nine days of the 31-day trial on the witness stand.

But in another way, the case that concluded in May was very different. It ended with the American Civil Liberties Union arguing that the 9/11 terrorism backlash had trickled all the way down to the family courts and with Kabbani and his supporters claiming that Judge Georgia Dempster exhibited blatant prejudice against Muslim Americans during the trial.

“I was shocked,” says Kristine Uhlman, an American-born Muslim who testified on Kabbani’s behalf. “In this courtroom it was like you weren’t believed if you were a Muslim. It made my skin crawl.”

Uhlman, an expert in international abduction cases, took the stand to dispute claims by Lauderdale that Kabbani planned to kidnap his children and take them to his native Syria. Under cross-examination by Lauderdale’s attorney, Tom Conner, Uhlman found herself trying to explain a part of the Koran that says a Muslim can lie to an “infidel.”

“The judge looked at me and said, ‘Since you are a Muslim, does that mean you can lie to us because you don’t have the same god?'” remembers Uhlman, who insisted that was not what the Koran meant. Uhlman says the judge later asked, “Since Sami’s god is different, does that mean he can lie?”

“It was humiliating,” says Uhlman. “These people did not believe me because of my faith, and they did not believe Sami because of his faith.”

Kabbani, 43, had vehemently testified against every accusation lobbed at him by Lauderdale and tried to prove he was nothing more than an immigrant made good — a hardworking energy broker who earned a comfortable living and believed so much in the American system that he had become a citizen ten years before. And that more than anything, he was a good father.

But Uhlman, Kabbani and his attorney, Jolene Wilson-Glah, say Dempster allowed the case to deteriorate into an argument about semantics and the minutia of Islam. They think Dempster’s decision to severely limit Kabbani’s visitation rights is one based on fear. So far, the ACLU agrees.

“Before September 11, people were willing to look at a claim much more critically,” says Annette Lamoreaux, director of the ACLU’s East Texas region. “But since September 11, there are a number of individuals and organizations who feel that people who are Middle Eastern or Muslim somehow had something to do with what happened, and so that makes it okay to treat them differently — even if they’re an American citizen who has been here for 20 years.”

Kabbani says he still can’t believe what happened to him.

“I was shocked by the judge’s decision,” says Kabbani, who can visit his daughters only under the supervision of an armed guard. “It’s like I’m driving a car and some police officer or judge stopped me and said, ‘We think you’re going to commit a crime in the future, so today we will prosecute you and put you in jail.’ “

Religious differences hadn’t marred the marriage of Sami Kabbani and Teresa Lauderdale, although other aspects of their lives caused escalating tension. They met as students at George Washington University in Washington, D.C., in 1983 and married four years later. Kabbani had come from Syria to further his engineering education.

“He pursued me,” says Lauderdale. “He presented himself as a romantic.”

In 1997, they had their first daughter, Diana. The next year the family relocated to Texas after Kabbani got a job offer in Houston. Kabbani had become a U.S. citizen and says he surrendered his Syrian passport.

“I am convinced of something called democracy,” says Kabbani. “If I had to fight in my own country where I was born and fight for the U.S., I would do that.”

Marital problems increased in May 2000 when Kabbani’s brother Mbim, who has an obsessive-compulsive disorder, moved in while receiving medical treatment. Confrontations later became physical — at one point police had to sort out the couple’s conflicting claims of assault. They arrested Teresa, but the charge was dropped.

Last year, the Kabbani brothers moved out and Lauderdale left for Virginia to be with her own family, where she would give birth to the couple’s second child, Julia. The couple disputes whether she had even told her husband she was leaving, but Lauderdale claims she left him a note. He eventually was allowed to visit the daughters in Virginia.

Lauderdale later moved back to Houston, not long after Kabbani filed for divorce. The case took on sometimes bizarre overtones, such as a much-debated knife incident.

During their marriage, Lauderdale opened a box delivered to the house and saw what she describes as “butchering knives.” Kabbani says his brother had wanted the carving knife set for “decoration,” so he ordered it from the Home Shopping Network with the couple’s credit card. He made his brother promise to keep them locked in a closet, he said.

Lauderdale shipped the set back, but not before making a videotape of herself slicing fruits and vegetables, saying she wanted to prove their sharpness.

“They were assault knives,” says Lauderdale.

“Well, if I had understood her frame of mind, I never would have done it,” Kabbani counters. “She takes a fraction of the issues and makes it seem like a grand scheme when there’s nothing.”

Even the 9/11 terrorism took on a role in their fight. Lauderdale says the FBI contacted her shortly after the attacks to discuss Kabbani. He says Lauderdale’s sister contacted the agents first, to try to implicate him in the attacks.

Bob Doguim, an FBI spokesperson in Houston, says he doesn’t know who initially called about Kabbani, but that the agency “determined that he was of no interest” to them.

What drew the most attention in the case were allegations that Kabbani was scheming to spirit away the children to his family in Syria.

Lauderdale says she returned home to a crying Diana, who told her she would fly away someday and never see her mother — a story that the mother says supports her claims of a kidnapping conspiracy. “Sami terrorized and traumatized me,” says Lauderdale. “He threatened to take our little child away from me.”

Kabbani says he did nothing more than stop Diana from squeezing their puppy, Pepper, explaining to her that good deeds would be rewarded by God. Kabbani says Diana told him she wanted to be a Powerpuff Girl and get wings so she could fly, and her father said perhaps that would happen someday.

“It was just kid talk,” says Kabbani.

Kabbani also says he does not understand why Lauderdale claimed he was a threat during the trial earlier this year, yet allowed him to visit the girls unsupervised after they had separated.

“They are totally bogus claims Teresa is making,” says Kabbani. “I would never, ever — even after all the stuff done to me by Teresa — I would never, ever take them from their mother.”

Both sides brought in experts on international abduction to testify. Lauderdale’s expert, author Maureen Dabbagh, says she was convinced that Kabbani was a real threat.

“I look for facts, very specific facts that coincide with specific risks,” says Dabbagh. She points out that the Syrian government has never cooperated with the United States in helping to return American children abducted by Syrian-born parents.

Kabbani and his attorney, Wilson-Glah, say Lauderdale’s allegations were only worsened by the treatment Kabbani received during the bench trial. According to them, Judge Dempster allowed Lauderdale’s attorney, Conner, to bring up improper references to Kabbani’s faith. They also claim that while determining visitation rights, the judge questioned why Kabbani would want to see his daughters on Christmas even though he’s not Christian.

They accuse Dempster of not believing Kabbani or his expert, Kristine Uhlman, because they are Muslim. “She asked Tom Conner while he was cross-examining [Uhlman] if she could be counted on to tell the truth,” remembers Wilson-Glah.

Lauderdale and Conner say Kabbani’s claims are ridiculous. Conner says he merely questioned Uhlman about testimony she gave in a 1988 case where she talked about a portion of the Koran that states Muslims can lie to “infidels.”

“Judge Dempster has bent over backward to keep religion out of this case,” says Conner. “I have no recollection of her saying anything like that, and I believe I would have remembered it.”

Dempster would not comment because the case is being appealed.

Kabbani also claims that Dempster asked Conner if Kabbani could be counted on to tell the truth because he had not sworn on a Bible (no one in the courtroom used a Bible).

“I brought the Koran into the courtroom,” says Kabbani, who claims he hardly practices his religion anyway. “I said I would swear on every holy book.” Kabbani has been unable to pay for a copy of the trial transcript to back up his arguments, but he’s trying to raise money for one to be used in his appeal.

Also troubling to Kabbani is that Conner hosted a fund-raising party for Dempster at his home — on the second day of the trial. Conner disputes that the event had any influence, saying Dempster has often ruled against him and that any notion of preferential treatment is “absolutely untrue.”

The ACLU’s Lamoreaux worries about the issues raised by Kabbani and says the organization is considering supporting his bid for a new trial.

“I think that prior to 9/11 Judge Dempster would not have felt confident stating those things on the record,” Lamoreaux says. “This whole level of hysteria has been created, this mentality is being perpetuated by the government that it’s okay to treat these people differently.”

Court-appointed psychologist Ramon Laval recommended joint custody without supervision. His report stated, “Diana also seemed much more engaging and affectionate with her father as compared to her mother.” However, Dempster ordered that Kabbani be allowed to visit the girls only while accompanied by an armed sheriff’s deputy.

Lauderdale says she is grateful to Dempster for protecting her children and says Kabbani’s claims of racial prejudice by the judge and her attorney are nonsense.

“This case has nothing to do with 9/11,” she says. “Even without 9/11, I would have sought protection from the court. This case is not about restricting access, it is about protecting the girls from international abduction.”

It’s obvious Kabbani feels differently.

“I’m the perfect example of the American dream,” he says. “But I feel my life is melting in front of me like hot tea on a sugar cube, because I’m from Syria and I’m a Muslim.”