Tropical Storm In The Gulf: Three Reasons Not To Worry

Here's a pleasant map to study -- a tropical-storm dagger pointed right at the heart of Houston. Even worse than right at the heart -- we're on the dirty side of the storm.

Not to worry. Why?

1. You want the tracking models to point right to you this far out. They always, always change. Now, of course, they could change down to the Valley or to Louisiana, and then change back to us, so there's that. But you want to be in the bullseye four or five says out, not two or three.

2. It's predicted to be no stronger than a tropical storm. And models on intensification are 100 percent reliable, except in those 90 percent of cases when they're not. If this stays a tropical storm, it should be no biggie. Right?

3. Because God doesn't like Houston meteorologists to get too excited. There's no way they'd hype this, right? Or tell us to "keep it tuned right here" for further updates that may -- just may -- show this thing turning into a Cat 5 going right up the Ship Channel? Crazy, yes -- Houston weathercasters would never do that, or bring up memories of Ike. So God will steer this one down to the empty landscape of the King Ranch.

On the other hand, if you've ever wanted to be on TV, go hang out now at a Home Depot, near the plywood section.

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