Super Bowl week is off and running, and if it's Super Bowl week it means that there's a chance we could get some NFL-related drama. Back in the day, that drama would be limited to actual shenanigans the night before the game (Barrett Robbins heading to Tijuana, Stanford Jennings getting his drug on, Eugene Robinson looking to get his knob polished), maybe even the occasional game week stabbing (what up, Ray Ray?).
But with social media, that's all changed. Twitter has given us a whole new avenue for angst, conflict and crime. It's the gift that keeps on giving, really.
So with that said, we have our first salacious story of Super Bowl week -- the Twitter war between Philadelphia Eagles running back LeSean McCoy and his baby momma, someone named Steph (or @angelface0330 on Twitter, if you want to follow her, much safer than banging her, obviously)!
Normally this time of year, McCoy would be in Hawaii getting ready for the Pro Bowl, but his season went a lot like the Eagles' season in 2012 (4-12, represent yo!), so instead he's decompressing in Puerto Rico. Well, hard to totally decompress in this age of smart phones and full-time accessibility. You'll see.
So, on Saturday, Twitter shots were fired between McCoy and Steph. It started like most social media fights between parents of an illegitimate child, with the father calling the mother a "dirty alley girl":
After LeSean clarified that he does see his little boy as a blessing, Steph pulled out the "Baby Momma Twitter Playbook" and began running it to perfection. I mean, it was almost like she gameplanned all week and scripted her first 15 tweets, like a "dirty alley girl" version of Gary Kubiak.
First, she fired back with a reminder that LeSean really had no desire to be "blessed" in this way to begin with:
@cutondime25 but you didn't one this blessing you wanted me to get an abortion right ok wanna act like a dad now but you left for 4 months
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
Then, she accused him of having herpes:
@cutondime25 for your bitch but where the glad ones at without the herpes yeah ok... Ok shut up now with your herpes having ass
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
How about accusations that he skirted child support payments in exchange for some cunnilingus? Well, here you go...
@cutondime25 And begging ?? .... Bitch you were you just eating my pussy to get yourself off of child support LAME !
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
Allegations that LeSean McCoy's best friend is sleeping with his girlfriend, the "hook and lateral" of the Baby Momma playbook...
@cutondime25 Now how that make you feel , your main man know whats your girls pussy taste like
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
Dick-size crackbacks, fullback up the middle....
@cutondime25 Small dick herpes having nigga ! and i heard you went to the dick doctor to get a bigger dick Sydney told Nye ...smh
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
Oh dear....text messages backing up all this "inadequate dick" talk...I'm now going back and making amends with all my old girlfriends....
@cutondime25 here so you can see how your girl Sydney be putting ur business out there lol facts she talks bout you twitter.com/Angelface0330/...
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
She even went back and admired her "drive" after she just went the Twitter equivalent of 16 plays, 97 yards...
@cutondime25 1. Your BM got you for child support CHECK 2. Ya main man know what your girls pussy taste like CHECK 3. You got herpes CHECK
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
So after thrashing McCoy on Twitter, Steph decides it's time to hit the hay...
Well since the truth is out I'm going to bed night night from me and my baby boy muahzzzzz
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
But wait! Not so fast, my friend! LeSean decides to unleash his Twitter followers on the mother of his child!
And now it's on for like the next three hours! Steph has Shady McCoy sycophants coming at her from every angle and she's having to fend them off like Dusty Rhodes being attacked by all four Horsemen on WCW Saturday night!
Some of the highlights (and there were MANY):
@agriggs5 @aaronroche10 whatever you are just a fan n you see what's out in the field not the personal so shut up
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
@bosseduplala what are you serious I had To beg lesean to get me a car bc he had me out in a car that had no ac with a 1 month baby
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
@bosseduplala his bitch yeah lesean kick me you with our 2 month old son n he didn't care great dad I don't think so
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
@covergirldro lol this bitch gonna block me n talk about me on her twitter lol are you mad bc now the whole world knows you talk about Sean
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
@covergirldro @bosseduplala @cutondime25 lol yeah I wanna be you so bad let me tell you bad weave n your man dogs you with every bitch
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
@covergirldro @bosseduplala @cutondime25 you wish my son was your son get that herpes in check n buy yourself a life bye lil girl
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
@covergirldro u look like fuckin stitch with all Dat forehead prolly gets in the way of suckin that lil dick
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
(My personal favorite right here....)
@mz_august2011 bitch you learn your place at McDonald fat crazy ugly bitch non mother fucking factor bitch learn your place
— Steph (@Angelface0330) January 27, 2013
Eventually, LeSean was able to get back to enjoying Puerto Rico, even if he has some uncomfortable conversations waiting for him when he returns to the mainland...
Of course, McCoy has since deleted his Twitter account. That's one way to reduce the baby momma drama.
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