While you were busy fretting over Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, the U.S. military-industrial complex was planning a covert operation involving FEMA death camps and martial law right here in Texas.
Or at least that's how conspiracy theorists are interpreting a weird military training exercise called Jade Helm 15, which will run from July 15-Sept. 15 in Texas and six other states. Gawker summed it up perfectly: "Over a thousand armed American soldiers will maneuver through the Southwest United States as part of a vast operation with a single motto: 'Master the Human Domain.' Internet conspiracy theorists wait their whole lives for a moment this rich."
Frankly, we can't fault the tinfoil hat crowd this time around -- with Jade Helm 15, the U.S. Army Special Operations Command appears to be going out of its way to appear creepy. According to the Command's slideshow, Jade Helm is not a Marvel Comics villainess (as we first suspected) but an "unconventional warfare" exercise whose participants include the Green Berets, Navy SEALS, the 82nd Airborne Division, and possibly even John Rambo.
On the downright Orwellian "What to Expect" slide, we're told we can expect "increased military presence" in the form of "increased aircraft in the area at night" and individuals conducting "suspicious activities designed to prepare them for complex environments overseas." And while some of these suspicious people ""will be wearing civilian attire and driving civilian vehicles," there's absolutely no chance of anything going wrong because all the participants know the "key words."
So, where in Texas can you expect to see these highly trained plain-clothesed, yet ostentatiously suspicious, military personnel communicating via secret code? Well, not Houston (or so they say) -- the closest location appears to be San Antonio. (Texas, by the way, is designated as one big "hostile" territory for the purposes of the exercise).
The good folks at AlNewsPipeline.com have already investigated this so-called "exercise" and have found the dates troubling, because, as everyone knows, September 2015 is "consistently being warned of as a potential timeframe for the global collapse and World War 3."
Moreover, the site warns that Jade Helm is tied to those FEMA-built safety domes that the New York Times described as being built to "protect sick, elderly and other residents who might be unable to evacuate the area before a hurricane." As explained on AllNewsPipeline, they're really "death domes" -- likely for "insurgents" who are "hostile to the goals" of the New World Order.
Don't say we didn't warn you!