The 82nd session of the august Texas Legislature will no doubt end as all the others have, without decriminalizing marijuana even for medical use. (We're just going out on a limb here with this prediction.)
More and more states seem to be getting on the weed bandwagon, but Texas will not likely be in the forefront. Which is odd, because Texas has produced some of the great stoners of our time.
We're not saying the people on this list have used marijuana, because that would mean they'd be breaking the law and there is no way they would do something like that. And even if they did -- which we're not saying they did -- their inclusion here doesn't mean that they (theoretically) have smoked prodigious amounts of the drug. Sometimes you just have to have the proper attitude.
10. Matthew McConaughey If the words "naked bongo playing" don't suggest being high, then McConaughey just has some very odd ideas on entertaining himself.
9. Ricky Williams The Longhorns' star running back has had a checkered NFL career, due in part to his love of pot. He retired from the league at one point after failing a number of drug tests, and went to study alternative holistic medicine, which is a sure-fire way to give up weed. He's not exactly the only UT football player to have public trouble with marijuana, but he's the poster boy.
8. Erykah Badu The sexy Dallas singer once announced she was coming out with her own brand of rolling papers. Of course, she later clarified in an interview:
I read something online that said that you had plans to come out with your own line of rolling papers? Can you confirm?
I don't know anything about that. I plead the Fifth . . . Those were not rolling papers. Those were, ah, papers used to put around hair rollers. Hair rolling papers. Rumor dispelled.
7. Ann Richards By the time she hit the big time, Ann Richards was famously a recovering alcoholic who acknowledged a hard-living past. But in the 1990 gubernatorial primary against Attorney General Jim Mattox, she refused to answer any questions about whether she had ever smoked pot. That campaign now seems silly, with huge-headline allegations that Mattox had been seen smoking marijuna twice, and Richards having been witnessed doing it. Hey, it was Austin in the `70s, man. The second-hand smoke just living a normal life there would have been enough to get you stoned.
6. Nate Newton Nate Newton was a Dallas Cowboy back when that meant something. Usually something involving drugs.
After his retirement, Newton was arrested twice within a few weeks with impressive amounts of dope in his car -- 213 pounds one time, and 175 pounds five weeks later. We're sure it was just a habit he took up after his Cowboy days.
5. Devin the Dude Not to give away the incredible suspense of which Texas will be ranked the number-one stoner or anything, but the in terms of Devin the Dude and pot use, let's just say he's known as "The Black Willie Nelson." The Houstonian says he smoked his first weed in the seventh grade, and hasn't done much to hide further use since. It horrifies the rap world, of course, which has always been vehemently against the use of drugs, but it has helped him produce some great music.
4. George W. Bush It can get very, very tense not attending to your duties in the cushy National Guard unit your dad's friends got you into to avoid the Vietnam War, so a man needs a release. Bush, of course, found the Lord at 40, instantly wiping away any previous sins in the eyes of people who would nevertheless remain apoplectic that Bill Clinton once smoked a joint.
Bush is rumored to have had a taste for coke, and in a secretly taped conversation he all but admitted he had smoked pot:
On the tapes, Bush discussed strategies for stonewalling questions about past marijuana use.
"Do you want your little kid, to say, 'Hey daddy, President Bush tried marijuana; I think I will?'" said Bush on the tapes. "That's the message we've been sending out. I wouldn't answer the marijuana question."
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3. Janis Joplin She was known more for her Southern Comfort and pills, but let's just say the Pride of Port Arthur bogarted a joint or two in her time. Helped with the husky voice, we're sure.
2. Woody Harrelson Perhaps the most vocal entertainer calling the legalization of marijuana, Harrelson is a Texas boy, born in George W. Bush's Midland. Another Texas connection: His father assassinated a federal judge in San Antonio.