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Keep Houston Press Free
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What To Do With That Ike Debris

The city of Houston has

announced a contest

to come up with the best ideas on what to do with all the fallen-tree debris left by Hurricane Ike.

“Composting, erosion control and fuel for boilers and electric generation are just some of the ideas we are pursuing,” said Mayor Bill White. “But we recognize that Houston is full of bright minds that can help us expand our options and we want to make use of that.”

We can only do our civic duty, and offer some suggestions.

1) Gather wood and deliver it to CenterPoint customers. The next time a storm hits and it takes weeks to figure out how to restore power, people can at least use firewood to, ummmm, run their air conditioners.

2) Hey, Houston city government, here's a great suggestion on what to do with the tree debris: Collect it from the freakin' sidewalks. What you do with it then is up to you.

3) Use the debris to clog street drains and block the bayous in order to cause local flooding. We realize this is apparently part of the city's Solid Waste Department manual, but it bears repeating, we guess.

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4) Recycle the wood into environmentally friendly "Bill White For Governor" buttons and signs. You know you want to.

5) Find a way to convert the debris into tarps for the Blue Roof program, quickly, before a big rainstorm hits. (Oops.)

6) Send it all to Galveston. They'll never notice. What's a few more hundreds of thousands of cubic yards?

-- Richard Connelly

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