While You Weren't Tweeting: Post-Holiday Hangover Edition

Sheesh. Check out the yawn on you! You'd think someone had cut your head in half. Sure, it doesn't beg notice that it's Monday morning. THE Monday morning following an incredibly steamy, incredibly dehydrating 4th of July weekend. You've already debated quitting your job so you don't have to show up this morning. Or at least you rationalized telling your boss you've contracted bird flu. Or that one of your lungs fell out. But enough already. Just quit your bitchin'. It's gonna be all right. Eventually.

Since you weren't in front of your computer, um, at all for a few days, you'd better hurry and get yourself caught up on all the dirt fit to tech. Like, what the hell was all that #moonfruit bullshit on Twitter about? You couldn't get a word in edgewise without it rearing its plummy head. But that's 'cause you chose a cold Shiner over a clever marketing campaign (good for you). Moonfruit, a bloody British website design company, was flinging free MacBook Pros if you tweeted their company's name as a hashtag. For those of you that weren't prematurely on a holiday staycation, that is. Okay, okay, so there are still four winners to be selected. Jump on the bandwagon, Twitterinos.

Speaking of Twitter, the Tweetheads That Be at Tweet Central grew a little, how you say, territorial this week with the nomenclature surrounding their product. In the equivalent of a virtual pissing contest, the Supreme Tweeters actually declared their discomfort with developers for overusing the word "tweet" in their applications. You know, those free applications. The kind that make Twitter easy to use and spread? Yeah, the developers of those. Then they went on to point out that Twitter actually has a copyright on the word "tweet." Yikes. Sounds like Tweetie and TweetDeck may have a lot of urine to clean off when this is all said and done.

In a move to keep up with the Joneses (read: be more like Twitter), Facebook is gearing up to revamp its privacy preferences. Only these changes may royally fuck with your ability to keep your shit away from prying eyes, by heavily suggesting that you share some of your goodies with everyone. Suggestion? Watch your back, yo. Facebook ain't taking Twitter lying down, and your "I only licked her tongue" photos reserved for friends may surface publicly as a result of that battle. You've been forewarned.

And as a refreshing twist (read: not about Twitter in any way, shape, or form), a vagina-like creature was discovered living in a North Carolina sewer. And of course, the masses went bonkers for the repulsive YouTube video footage. It's unclear how many of these viewers were attempting to self-diagnose strange conditions between their legs, but an official at the Raleigh Public Utilities Department confirmed that it was a colony of tubifex worms, and not an alien lifeform. Apparently they're "not dirty, don't carry diseases, and don't bite or sting," but if you're experiencing symptoms, visit your nearest Planned Parenthood for immediate treatment.

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Fayza Elmostehi
Contact: Fayza Elmostehi