Why Notre Dame Will Win The BCS And Texas Won't, Part 8

We didn't watch the Longhorns this weekend, we have to admit. Subjecting the country to a prime-time match-up of UT and Missouri seemed unnecessarily cruel, but such is the heartless world we live in these days.

But we're assuming two things: First, UT won, because come on, it's Missouri. And second, Colt McPick threw another interception even though come on, it's Missouri.

Let's check the box score aaaaannnnddd........there ya go. The man is consistent, you have to give him that.

Notre Dame, of course, cruised to yet another victory over a storied, nearly undefeated opponent, leaping back into the rankings and beginning the season-closing win streak that will have BCS voters desperate to put them in the title game.

As always, we offer five reasons for our headlined thesis:

1. The Aggies are better than you, Longhorns. UT got to play Texas Tech in Austin, in front of what passes for a raucous crowd at Memorial Stadium. They eked out a 10-point win. A&M, on the other hand, had to travel to the hostile environment of Lubbock, where 58,000 fans with nothing better to do in Lubbock were screaming their heads off. The Aggies won 52-30. So, through simple deductive reasoning and the time-tested transitive principle of score-comparing, UT actually lost the Tech game. At home.

2. Notre Dame beat one of the top teams in the Big East. Miami's better, sure. Georgia Tech is having a hell of a year, gotta give them that. Virginia Tech, goes without saying. But take away those schools, maybe Florida State, Clemson and Wake Forest, and Boston College is right up there when it comes to ACC teams. They are, in fact, tied for the lead in the conference's Atlantic Division, which is somehow different from the conference's Coastal Division. (Rejected division names: The North Division and the Northern Division.)

3. Notre Dame has now beaten more Catholic schools this football season than Texas, Florida and Alabama combined. And we're talking a Jesuit school. You know how good their football teams are.

4. ND won despite getting down to Plan Z in terms of receivers. While every nun in America is doing rosaries pleading that Golden Tate stays healthy, the Irish wide receiver corps was so thinned by injuries that they played a freshman from Hawaii who was only recruited because he's a close friend of the highly recruited defensive whiz Manti T'eo. Our suggestion: Use some of the team's defensive backs. They are very familiar with big pass plays.

5. Jimmy Clausen's inexorable march to the Heisman continued, now with video goodness. Clausen allegedly was talking trash during and before the game, a concept that is apparently utterly alien to Boston College. So afterwards, when he went to congratulate BC's star receiver, that star receiver had a hissy fit, which Clausen gave all the attention it deserved.

Colt McCoy's gesture of contempt would have been interrupted halfway through.

This weekend: Your fair and balanced correspondent gets to see Notre Dame in the flesh, in the Alamodome, as they take on the fearsome Washington State Cougars, a team that is ranked in the Top 10 of the Pac-10.

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