Woman Puts Bag Down For One Second, Loses It (In Space)

Has anyone seen my bag? It was here a minute ago. I swear to Christ, I put it down for one second, turned around and the next thing you know...it's drifting aimlessly into the great void of space.

Its circuit's dead. There's something wrong. Can you hear me, Little Bag? Can you hear me, Little Bag? Can you heeeeaaaaarrrrrrr..........

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Astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper, who has already pissed off reporters all over the world by having a name they have to cut-and-paste each goddamn time they use it, made the news yesterday. And not in a good way.

She was on a spacewalk, using some grease guns to fix a stuck part, when one of the grease guns "erupted" inside a tool bag, NASA says.

While she was cleaning up the mess, she momentarily let go of a smaller tool bag, apparently thinking it was attached to something. It wasn't.

As the video shows, Something-Piper almost immediately realizes her mistake, but it's too late -- the bag is drifting away.

The video, unfortunately, is narrated by a NASA official on the ground, so we don't get to hear her reaction.

"And it had all my credit cards, and my cell phone, and the keys to my space station......"

Update: Sxshssktz-Piper spoke to an Associated Press reporter this morning. "We're definitely not going to do it again. You're not going to see us lose another bag," she said. "We're going to double- and triple-check everything from here on out."

Which sounds like a good idea.

-- Richard Connelly

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