World's Dumbest Counterfeiter Leads Police To Her Own Door

Last week, we brought you the story of the world's worst counterfeiter. This week, we bring you quite possibly the dumbest.

In a nutshell, an employee at a Domino's in the town of Porter called the Montgomery County Sheriff's Office last Friday and told them that one of their delivery drivers had been paid with two fake $20 bills. (We don't know if these fakes were quite as inept as the ones in the College Station attempt linked above, but a gruff, reluctant-to-speak Domino's employee told us bluntly that they were "bad.")

Detectives from the CID Property Squad responded to a residence in New Caney where the sham $20s originated -- which was not hard to find, seeing as how Domino's had just taken a pizza there -- and arrested 25-year-old Taya Thedford.

And while they were there, the sheriffs searched the residence and found more counterfeit cash and the computer and printer that were believed to have been used to make same. The United States Secret Service has now been brought in on the case.

This is why most criminal masterminds adopt the following golden rule: You never draw heat to the center of your criminal enterprise.

Detective Alan Hunter of the Montgomery County Sheriff's Office laughs when asked if this is one of the dumber criminals he has come across. But then he comes over all compassionate...

"I would agree, this was probably not the best move," he tells Hair Balls. "But counterfeiting is a growing problem out here with the economy the way it is. People are hungry and they are gonna do what they gotta do to put food on the table."

And that new, improved Domino's does look pretty damn good...

Thedford is charged with forgery of a government instrument/money/security, a third-degree felony. She remains jailed at press time, with bail set at $10,000. Which would take quite a while to print up, if her computer is as slow as ours.

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John Nova Lomax
Contact: John Nova Lomax