Wow. Charlie Sheen is a Real Asshole.

I admit I’ve done my fair share of whining with regard to

Denise Richards

. But when it comes to Denise’s ex, Charlie Sheen, all I can say is…wow. He’s an



It’s recently come to light that in 2005, Mr. Men at Work left a series of totally horrible voice mail messages on Denise’s machine, including one where he calls Denise a fucking liar and then calls her the N word. (And I don’t mean nerd.)

My first memory of Charlie Sheen is drooling over him during his famous cameo in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” He played the bad boy criminal Jennifer Grey’s character kisses while waiting in the police station, and as soon as I saw that scene, I knew I was destined to make a series of terrible romantic decisions involving bad boys throughout my late teens and early twenties! (By the way, I tried everywhere to find a clip of Sheen’s scene in “Ferris Bueller” and could only come up with photos.)

It’s weird. For a time, it’s like we all expected Charlie to be an important actor like his dad, and for a time, he seemed to be going down that path. We had “Wall Street” and “Platoon,” for instance. But something must have happened along the way, because then came “Hot Shots” (which I saw in the theater, by the way…ouch), “The Chase,” the Scary Movie franchise, and now this cheeseball television series where he and Ducky from “Sixteen Candles” are apparently lovers and are raising a fat kid together. (Not sure if that’s the actual premise for the show since I’ve never seen it, but that’s how it comes across in commercials.)

Anyway, I could forgive Sheen his poor thespian choices, his legendary drug problems, even the charges of assaulting former girlfriends and the fact that he “accidentally” shot former girlfriend Kelly Preston in the hand. But man, that voice mail sort of takes it up a notch to the point of no return.

Of course there was the proverbial apology that quickly followed the news of the tapes. In the clearly scripted mea culpa, Charlie specifically apologizes for his use of the N word to actor Tony Todd, “…an African-American, who was best man at my first two weddings.”

Um, speaking of marriages, memo to Charlie’s brand new third wife Brooke Allen: When things go sour, don’t answer the phone. – Jennifer Mathieu

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