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You Never Call, You Never Write

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If you’re looking for a new career and happen upon a classified ad for a CenterPoint public information officer, you should be aware that, oddly enough, the position might require experience in

ignoring

reporters’ phone calls.

This isn’t freshman year of college, CenterPoint, and you’re not our long-distance girlfriend. There’s no excuse for not returning our calls for nearly a week. We’re sure you’ve had plenty to do since the hurricane stuck. (Not so much that you couldn’t find time for a Houston Chronicle conference call, of course.)

But that very story just added to the list of questions Hair Balls had for you: Was there a contingency plan in place for dealing with crews that were not equipped to climb backyard poles? Why can’t the work be divided so CenterPoint crews tackle the backyard issues while bucket truck crews continue to work hard on the lines they can access? President of regional operations Tom Standish was quoted as saying CenterPoing has devised a way to distribute the work more efficiently – what exactly is this new strategy?

These questions have grown staler as the unfulfilled promises of returned calls tally climbs. Was it the whole “you suck” thing that turned you off? We hoped you’d be more understanding – tempers run high when the juice isn’t running through your lines and you’re considering whether it’d be easier to nail an “abandoned” sign to your front door than face the pungent civilization that has begun to thrive in your newly temperate freezer.

You’ve made us wish this were freshman year, CenterPoint. At least then we could get you to talk to us by borrowing our roommate’s phone and calling from a different number.

-- Blake Whitaker

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