Located up north near Spring, the tasteful manse was the home of one Darren Odell Jones, currently housed in slightly less spacious digs after being convicted in Alabama of possession of 150 kilos of cocaine, with (one can only hopes) intent to distribute.
The 8.000-square foot property sits on two and a half acres, is being sold by U.S. Marshals at an auction next week. Bidding starts at $471,250, so come with some cash.
What will you get if you're the highest (ha-ha!) bidder? Not just the double staircase above, which, as one Swamplot commenter noted, is perfect for a re-enactment of the Scarface finale.
There's also the portico, perfect for sipping cognac, smoking a four-figure cigar and contemplating your ill-gotten gains and how you are INVINCIBLE and will never, ever be caught.
The bathroom only seems gloomy because the lights are off. But where are the mirrors? Is someone using them for some other purpose? We have to say, that looks like a pretty wimpy tub for a drug kingpin. You couldn't fit more than two coke whores in that thing. On the other hand, there's plenty of open space for people to stand around in.
Not for sale on Wednesday are some other items forfeited by Jones:
Jones also gave up to the feds a million dollars in cash, a 2007 Mercedes Benz S-550, a silver 2006 Maserati, a silver 2006 Ferrari F-430, a black 2007 BMW M6, 3 other cars, 4 wristwatches, a 15-karat white gold woman's diamond ring, and a 14-karat yellow gold diamond "Jesus" pendant on a necklace.