If there are three things we report on quite well here at Houston Press Blog Central, it's food, sex and music. So, hell, let's merge 'em!
Here is a rundown of ten of the most sexually suggestive, food- related album covers that caught our eye and gave us the craziest cravings.
10. Katy Perry, Teenage Dream (2010)
At first glance, this illustrated cover suggests that Perry, America's favorite contemporary pop tart, is up in heaven, lying butt-naked on a cloud. But, upon further investigation, we see Perry lying butt-naked on a cotton-candy cloud. And judging from the fact that the whole damn CD package smells like cotton candy, she certainly wanted to bring the point across of how sweet and tasty a pop diva she is. BTW, the illustrator for the cover: famed, sweets-crazy painter Will Cotton.
9. Isaac Hayes, Chocolate Chip (1975)
Some of you may be too young to remember this, but back in the '70s, Hayes was THE MAN. He was practically the black James Bond: brothas wanted to be him, while sistas wanted him to be in them. For this disco-heavy album, the late, great Hayes poses on the cover all dark and stoic, holding a chocolate chip with a bite missing. While that doesn't seem so sexually suggestive, the ladies knew the true meaning behind it: Hayes was always ready for a taste of your cookie.
8. Shakira, Oral Fixation Vol. 2 (2005)
Here's Shakira. She's naked in the Garden of Eden, holding an apple. Is it original? Hardly. Is it sexy? HELLS YEAH!
7. Ludacris, Chicken-n-Beer (2003)
While we recognize the low-brow, tongue-in-cheek humor the rapper brings out in the album's concept, we still feel a little uncomfortable shouting out an album that features two food items that are not only dubiously associated with black culture, but are slowly but surely killing it as well. Nevertheless, Ludacris doesn't wrap his hands around either item, which are all over the cover. What does he choose to sink his teeth into? A lady's thigh.
6. Ted Nugent, Love Grenade (2007; pre-release cover)
Not since Spinal Tap's Smell the Glove debacle have we witnessed a more controversial, more absurd, album-cover switcheroo. The original cover featured a naked girl on a platter, hands tied behind her back, grenade in her mouth, various vegetables all around her. We have a feeling the notoriously un-PC rocker threw this despicable image out there so he could release what would become the eventual cover: an illustration of a grenade with a pink, breast-cancer ribbon on it.
(It's been reported that Nugent says it's a salute to the war against breast cancer.)
5. Slunt, Get a Load of This (2005)
It's the not-so-subtly-named New York rock band that introduces ice cream in this list. On this cover, we have a pig-tailed blonde, wearing a bikini top that's covering her tattoo-covered scoops, holding a dripping cone. And while this mysterious model is certainly a feast for the eyes, we're still a little disappointed that bustalicious frontwoman/former MTV2 VJ Abby Gennet didn't just pose as the sweet, sticky thang on the cover herself.
4. Rapper Big Pooh, The Delightful Bars (2009)
Pooh, one half of the North Carolina rap group Little Brother, took a unique approach in releasing his second album (or "street-LP," as he called it). He actually released several different versions of it, with subtitles like The North American Pie Version and Japanese Daifuku. But what made these albums must-haves were the covers, which had naked girls covered in various forms of candy. And while we don't know who had the idea to cover that healthy sista's backside in sprinkles for the aptly-titled Belgian Chocolate Version, we just want to say you're a hero in our eyes.
3. The Velvet Underground and Nico, The Velvet Underground and Nico (1967)
There hasn't been a more perfect union of sexual suggestiveness and edible visuals than in this iconic cover. Designed by Andy Warhol, the band's svengali, the cover just has a banana and Warhol's signature. But if you follow the "Peel Slowly and See" instruction at the top of the cover and remove the banana peel, you'll find a striking, flesh-colored banana. It brings new meaning to the term "Pop art," doesn't it?
2. Whipped Cream & Other Delights, Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass (1965)
If you type in the album title on Google Images, you'll find oodles and oodles of parodies and recreations of this legendary cover. (Our favorite: the album cover for comedian Pat Cooper's Spaghetti Sauce & Other Delights.) But nothing beats the original. Kinky yet cheeky, this cover put together two things perhaps no one thought of combining beforehand: whipped cream and naked, Latin women. Herb Alpert should get an award just for bringing that to the forefront.
1. Ohio Players, Honey (1975)
You can't get more deliciously tantalizing than this, people. Thanks to Playboy photographer Richard Fegley, the funk band always had the most artful (and most erotically potent) album covers in the '70s. The band certainly reached its sexual peak (pardon the pun) with this unforgettable sight, which had Playboy Playmate Ester Cordet practically doused in natural honey, virtually setting off X-rated fantasies that men have been trying to get their significant others to recreate for decades.
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