As America is busy keeping an eye on the 2012 Presidential Election -- an election that's shaping up to be one of the closest battles for the presidency in U.S. history -- we're occupied contemplating what the people of the different parties will be munching on during Election Night (today, for those living under a rock).
While we could put out a dissertation about our views on federal spending, healthcare law, taxes, education, energy policy, illegal immigration, environmental practices, the unemployment rate and foreign affairs, we're just going to stick to what we know best: food. Because what better than to start a food fight when the rest of the country is preoccupied with swing states, Gallup polls, and binders full of women?
Here's a light-hearted look into the theoretical four-course menus (starter, salad, entree, and dessert, accompanied by a drink) that Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians, and Green Party members will be enjoying tomorrow :
Democratic Party Potluck
Here, friends will come together to contribute to a potluck style dinner spread. And yes, before you ask, some of the ingredients were indeed purchased with food stamps. Below is what will likely be contributed:
Starter: Chicken wings, hummus and pita chips, spinach-artichoke dip, spring rolls Salad: Russian salad, quinoa salad, caesar salad, potato salad Entree: enchiladas, Thai curry, fried rice, fish and chips Dessert: pineapple empanadas, tiramisu, fruit salad Drink: Starbucks iced coffee
Republican Party Dinner Feast
Lucky for these guys, the party host will have just gotten back from hunting -- meaning that the entree spread will be killer!
Starter: Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets with honey mustard dipping sauce Salad:Actually, these guys will opt for a soup, rather than salad. Their soup of choice? Turtle soup. Entree: Blackened alligator, grilled venison and braised rabbit, served with sides of mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese Dessert: Warm apple pie, a la mode Drink: Shots of Goldschläger
Community-Style Libertarian Dinner
In keeping with their community spirit, all items at this dinner will be served family-style. All ingredients will be sourced from local, organic farmer's markets or grown by the guests themselves (can't trust Monsanto). No animals will be harmed in the making of this menu.
Starter: Eggplant parmesan Salad: Chopped arugula-apple salad, with walnuts and blue cheese Entree: Baked, free-range chicken Dessert: Home-made jams spread over thin vanilla wafers Drink: Choice of fresh-squeezed lemonade or hot earl grey tea Please note: this dinner will be followed by a trip to the composting center, to properly dispose of any trash produced from the dinner.
Green Party Sustainable Supper
Invitees should wear eco-friendly apparel and sandals. This will be an outdoor event.
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Starter: Pickled vegetables Salad: Alfalfa sprout salad with fresh-picked heirloom tomatoes Entree: Veggie burger Dessert: Brownies. The reallllyy special kind. Drink: Gluten-free beer
Can we agree on one thing? No matter who we stand behind: Romney, Obama, or those other third-party candidates, food unites us all. Thanks for allowing us to have a little food fun. Now, all jokes aside - will you be hosting an election night dinner? If so, what will you be serving? We want the scoop!