Apocalypse Chow: What We Want to Eat Before the End of the World

Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

As the Mayan Apocalypse is upon us, we polled, well, ourselves, to find out what we'd want our last meal on Earth to be.

From local favorites paired by Houston's finest to a seven-course meal ending in a dessert of opium, here's what our EOW bloggers had to say:

John Gray A Starch Parade with a Side of Opium, Please

"My dream end of the world meal, huh? Wow. I guess the appetizer would be buffalo wings from the Panama Grill that burned down in 1994. I've never had wings that tasty and tangy before or since. Main course, I'm going to go with my Memaw's chicken and dumplings. For sides...macaroni and cheese the way Boston Market used to do it years ago before they changed all their shit up. Mashed potatoes from the Kelley's in Pearland with their house gravy. Then let's finish this starch parade off with a dessert of a pumpkin, cream cheese, and ginger snap crepe from Melange Creperie. For beverage I'd like a Dublin Dr Pepper, and since it's the end of the world, if I could get some opium in that, that would be great."

Christine Uticone Local Favorites and Homecookin'

Here in Houston, Christine would feast on the scallop pie and toffee pudding from Feast (which are limited time only anyway). For that bit of nostalgia, she'd want her dad's spaghetti sauce, dubbed "The Sauce," with her mom's famous stuffed shells.

Brooke Viggiano/me A Neverending Story of Chocolate, Wine and Cheese

If it's my last night on Earth, I need three very, very important things -- and no, I'm not talking about my family, friends and fiancé, although I guess I'd like them to be there, too. I'm talking about the world's finest charcuterie and cheese plate (with every kind of cured meat around, mountains of cheese, fresh baked breads, olive oils, dips, fresh fruits and roasted veggies), a vineyard-sized supply of my favorite red wines like Cabernet Franc and Malbec, and a shit ton of chocolate anything. I can't lie...I'd add some of Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay biscuits too. I can't help that I'm fancy.

Phaedra Cook An Eclectic Mix of Houston's Best, with Cocktail and Wine Pairings

"Oh, if it's my last meal, there's no way it's just coming from one place. I'm pretty sure I can die happy after this:

Cocktails and Spirits (yes, in my world, this is a course): a Pegu Club from Sebastian Nahapetian, The Pass and Provisions; a shot of Ocho Tequila blanco, along with sangrita made by Ornella Ashcraft; and some kind of experimental Buffalo Trace bourbon selected by Bobby Heugel of Anvil Bar & Refuge.

Starter: Sliders from Ricky Craig at Hubcap Grill with a side of duck fat fries from The Burger Guys and a beer chosen by Kevin Floyd at The Hay Merchant.

Main: Roasted Pork Shank from Chris Shepherd, Underbelly; wine pairing selected by Matthew Pridgen.

Veggies: The Oxheart course: Pretzel rolls by Karen Man, the "roasted okra forest" dish from Justin Yu, and a wine Pairing by Justin Vann -- perhaps something that tastes like poison.

Dessert: Nitro "Christmas ice cream" from The Pass with a wine pairing by Travis D. Hinckle; frozen milk chocolate and matcha meringues by Chris Leung, Kata Robata; and one of those awesome cigar boxes of chocolates from Triniti (I really like dessert); along with a digestif selected by Alex Gregg, The Pass & Provisions.

Finally, both coffee and espresso from Greenway Coffee. I want to be awake for the end of the world."

Joanna O'Leary Favorite Foods and Some Corpse Revivers

Joanna wants a meal of her favorites, including fried oysters with herb aioli, Caesar salad with tomatoes, Stouffer's macaroni and cheese, chewy chocolate chip cookies, milk, and two or three Corpse Reviver #2s -- a cocktail strong enough to bring the dead back to life.

Nicholas Hall Pesto, Made The Right Way

"Spaghetti with pesto alla genovese, hand-made in a mortar and pestle. Before food processors became de rigueur in the kitchen, my mom used to make pesto once a week throughout the summer, always with a mortar and pestle. While I like food pro pesto, the hand-ground version offers a much cleaner, more vibrant flavor, and a far more interesting texture. A food pro tends to overly homogenize, lending a muddy sameness to each bite. One of the joys of great pesto is the variation, with each bite offering a subtly different balance of flavor and texture, and artifact of the labor-intensive process. It's what I asked for on my birthday every year, and one of my favorite things to eat."

Mai Pham A Classy, 18-Course Affair with Real French Bread

"If the world were to end tomorrow, I would go French, Japanese and Spanish," says Mai. She'd start with oysters on the half shell with shallot mignonette and cold crab legs with fresh drawn butter, add Iberico ham over pan con tomate and a seafood medley of navajas, pulpo and ciperones a la plancha from Barcelona and move on to a duet of seared foie gras with a port cherry reduction and black truffle mousse on flown-in-from-Paris French bread. For the salad course, she'd want an organic frisee salad with crisp lardons and 63-degree poached egg before moving on to the big guns -- omakase of sushi and sashimi from Chef Hori at Kata Robata and some hearty braised beef cheek or a really fantastic osso bucco made with veal shank with marrow. She'd finish off the meal with a selection of cheeses, which must include brie and burrata, with fresh mission figs and raw honey and a dessert, a beautiful white chocolate soufflé. To go with it all? A bottle of classic Bordeaux like a good vintage Chateaux Margaux or Pétrus.

Molly Dunn Mom's Home Cooking

"For my last meal, I would want to have my mom's Southern home cooking, which is a huge piece of chicken-fried steak smothered in white gravy, and a piece of Texas toast, sweet corn on the cob, green beans cooked in bacon, mashed potatoes with butter and cream cheese mixed into them, a pitcher of sweet tea and a giant slice of her German chocolate cake."

Carla Soriano Houston Delights and a Medley of Beer

"For my last meal, I would like to enjoy a compilation dinner -- one that includes items from all over town. From Fogo de Chão, I would request a big hunk of pichana, with plenty of pão de queijo to accompany it. I would also add in challah bread from Slow Dough, as served at Roost -- with three dipping sauces. And, because two starches are clearly not enough, Luby's macaroni and cheese would make an appearance on the dinner table. Heck, while I'm at it -- I'd throw in a piece of Luby's fried fish, too. My accompanying drinks would be an Adelbert's Brewery Tripel B, then a Shiner Bock, followed by a Left Hand Milk Stout Nitro. (Hey, it's a big dinner -- I can't wash it down with JUST two beers!) Dessert would be composed of a gingerbread milkshake from JerryBuilt Burgers, a glass of milk, and Étoile's apple tart -- a preview of heaven, here on earth."

And finally, our very own...

Katharine Shilcutt Texas Favorites from Armadillo Palace (And Some Bourbon to Wash It Down)

"It'd be a meal of two Texan favorites at Armadillo Palace -- the unbeatable venison chili and massive chicken-fried steak (gravy on the side; just because the world is ending doesn't mean I want a soggy CFS) -- before retiring back home to empty a bottle of Yellow Rose bourbon with my family, preferably sitting outside under the stars."

There you have it, folks. Apparently, more than a few of us are going to be a little tipsy for the end of the world. What would you want your last meal on Earth to be?

Follow Eating Our Words on Facebook and on Twitter @EatingOurWords

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.