Above is a photo of a cake that I attempted to bake when I was 14 years old (also known as the age at which I was really old enough to know better). Because I was -- and admittedly still am -- impatient, I couldn't wait for the hot cake to cool before frosting it. The result was a pastry abomination that looked as if had just suffered from a debilitating stroke. Luckily, the birthday boy (Ralph, my stepfather) thought it was the best cake he'd ever received. I think it's only because he didn't pay for it from a bakery.
If you have worse kitchen disasters than this -- and God knows some of you must -- you're in luck. There's a contest tailored specifically to just our kind of kitchen spazziness and ineptitude: the Worst Cooks In America Challenge on Food2.com. The folks behind Food2.com explain:
If cooking isn't in your repertoire, Food2.com is looking for photos of those fantastic culinary FAILS. Whether your blender went a little too over-the-top or your meal looks like something out of a sci-fi flick, we want to see it!
Inspired by Food Network's brand-new series, Worst Cooks in America, users can log on to Food2.com to share photos of their worst kitchen efforts.
Multiple entries will be accepted from those of you who are truly trainwrecks in the kitchen, but you must have taken the photos yourself. That is, no pulling pictures off Cake Wrecks and claiming them as your own.
The deadline to submit your photos at Food2.com is January 25. The real fun kicks off the next day when voting begins. We have absolutely no idea what the winner receives other than the ridicule of their peers. But isn't that worth it?