Things I Want, Part I: a bacon-and-coffee-scented candle from @theyankeecandle called "RISE AND SHINE, BITCHES."

— Katharine Shilcutt (@kshilcutt) April 12, 2013

Occasionally, Twitter has the seemingly magical powers of a wishing well. Just a couple of Fridays ago, I dropped a penny into the Twitter well and wished for a bacon- and coffee-scented candle from Yankee Candle. And now, through the magic of the Internet, that wish has [mostly] come true.

The Massachusetts-based candle company is releasing two new candles on May 13: MMM, Bacon! and Movie Night. As the name would imply, MMM, Bacon! is bacon-scented, while the Movie Night candle smells of fresh, buttered popcorn.

In a press release, the candle company spoke directly to the arteries of a million pork-obsessed Americans: "You've heard it said that 'everything's better with bacon' -- and Yankee Candle agrees." I may not agree 100 percent with this statement -- plenty of dishes are better unmolested by bacon, actually -- but I'm excited nevertheless.

I'm even excited enough to forgive Yankee Candle for being...slightly behind the times when it states that "bacon is poised to be the hot trend of the summer." There is an entire Wikipedia entry devoted to "bacon mania" (an official term now, apparently), which has been "sweeping the country" since at least 2008.

That's five years. Five years of increasingly crazed bacon mania, leading Salon to proclaim: "Bacon is dead! Long live bacon!" (That was in 2009, by the way.) And although media outlets like The Stranger have been predicting the imminent collapse of bacon mania for almost as long as bacon mania has existed, the bacon craze isn't over yet.

"Thankfully, baconmania has almost run its course," wrote Erica C. Barnett in The Stranger in May 2009. "Trends inevitably go through their phases--early adoption, buzz, general excitement, overexposure -- and bacon is in its terminal stage, clinging to relevance, grasping at any opportunity to cash in on its dwindling cachet as its 15 minutes come to an end."

Perhaps Yankee Candle's bacon-scented candle will be that final sign of the bacon apocalypse: the final scroll that's opened before bacon mania is raptured into food-trend heaven and a new era of crawfish-mania or kale-mania rises to take its place.

Or maybe bacon mania is here to stay. If the increasing popularity of Ron Swanson -- the iconic, red-blooded, red-meat-eating, woodworking, government-loathing, bacon-worshipping all-American male depicted by Nick Offerman on Parks and Recreation -- is anything to judge by, we may only be in the initial stages of a bacon craze that could last generations.

Would Ron Swanson buy a bacon-scented Yankee Candle? I doubt it. He'd probably just make his own...out of real bacon.