Why did you start bartending? I think what actually got me into the industry was forever ago my brother was missing a barback and asked me if I wanted to come make some money. After that, I started working at t'afia, and while I was working there, Joshua Martinez of Goro & Gun and the Modular was a general manager at Kata Robata and he asked me if I wanted to hostess there, so I went there and quickly fell into bartending. As my tenure grew there, I became in charge of all the infusions and pairings. Then I moved to Fort Worth to be a curator at a little gallery, and when that didn't pan out, I moved back home to Houston, and my bar family welcomed me home. I worked at The Pass & Provisions, then took a break and found my way to Boheme. Here it's relaxed, and there's room for creativity.
A person walks into a bar and orders _________. He or she has earned your undying admiration. Here's the deal: Someone who knows exactly how they want a gin martini and is willing to answer my five questions that come with a gin martini is great. My favorite cocktail to make is an Old Fashioned, and when someone doesn't stare blankly at me when I ask them what kind of rye they want, I appreciate that. You can earn my admiration by knowing exactly what you want. If you want a Redbull and vodka, fine! I will happily make you one. If you know what's in your favorite cocktail and you know the way you like a cocktail, then I will respect you.
What's the worst thing someone's ever ordered from you? A person came in and said, "Do you know how to make a Butt-fucker?" I was like, I'm sorry, what?! But then I said, "Look, if this is your favorite thing and you can tell me what's in it, I will happily make it for you. She didn't know."
What's your least favorite thing to make? I have such respect for people who know all of the classics but on top of that have the knowledge to make all the Butt-fuckers and stuff like that. That's a level of intelligence from a bartender -- knowing how to make a Smurf Cum and a Starfucker...can you print that? Anyway, my least favorite are these: For whatever reason, I cannot remember the difference between a Vegas Bomb, a Starfucker and a Red-Headed Slut. I have to look them up every time I make them!
What's your favorite ingredient to use? My favorite spirit would be rye. My favorite nonalcoholic ingredient is bitters. And then citrus. I'm hooked on citrus. Lime and grapefruit are my favorite.
Where do you drink when you're not at Boheme? I love to drink at Double Trouble. There's nothing like working Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning and then going to Double Trouble on Monday. I also go to Catbirds and Lola's. I live in the Second Ward, so I go to D&W and Moon Tower a lot.
What do you order? It is my grandest guilty pleasure to order an Old Fashioned at every bar I go to. You go to a place like Catbirds or Marfreless and order an Old Fashioned, and the results really differ depending upon the bartender. You learn so much about the person by ordering a simple cocktail. But each place I go is something different. Catbirds is a shot and a beer. Grand Prize is a shot and a beer.
What's one of the craziest things you've seen while working at Boheme? I don't have any crazy stories like a New York cab driver might have for you, but I have worked at three of the top ten places to have sex in the bathroom. Boheme is number three, because there's a couch in the bathroom. There was this one guy -- I hadn't seen him all night, but he walked up to the bar, and he was gone. So he walks out of the bathroom and walks up to me and says, slurring, "Somebody needs to check the bathroom. There's a lot of water on the floor." I walk in there, and the entire sink had been taken off the wall, and there was toilet paper all over the floor. I don't know if he was trying to be helpful and mop it up, or what. But that's not the craziest part. The craziest part is I saw that man maybe five hours later at 1:30 in the morning sober as daylight. He was fine. He was like, "Oh hey, did you get your bathroom fixed?"
What's one thing that you wish people understood about bartending that they probably don't? Maybe that not all of us are just in it for the money. It's not just easy, like you work Friday and Saturday and make a bunch of money and go home. There are people who really do care, and that's evident in great magazines like Imbibe. My preachiest moment is that even if you make a drink that might be unusual or unique, you're not a mixologist. You're a bartender. Own it.
The Lucky Little Star
1 ounce Byejoe Red 1/2 ounce Myers's Dark Rum 1/2 ounce pear puree 1/4 ounce tamarind puree 1/2 ounce yuzu juice Jarritos grapefruit soda
Mix all ingredients except grapefruit soda in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake for about 15 seconds. Strain into a glass and top with grapefruit soda.
