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Oh, man, this contest was over before it started. Scrolling down from Katharine Shilcutt's piece on taste-testing "marital aids," how could we resist this gem from commenter Bruce R?

Forget those store bought edible undies--you can make your own. All you need are some licorice whips (for the waist) and two Fruit Roll-Ups (for coverage). If you want to be more risque than that you can fashion the undies using only licorice whips.

Bruce R, we have so many questions about this. But we are going to let them go. Know, though, that we are filled with admiration for you and yours...

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