Condom Flavors Ranked (Because We Want You to Be Safe and Satisfied) (sNSFW)

There are wine tastings and beer tastings and liquor tastings, of course. There are cheese tastings and barbecue tastings and even heirloom apple tastings. Chocolate tastings, kolache tastings, salsa tastings and weird new energy drink tastings.

But this is the first time we've ever heard of a condom tasting.

Yes, in the name of safe sex and scientific curiosity, several members of our editorial and advertising staff have participated in a flavored condom tasting to determine which flavor actually tastes the most like what it's supposed to. Or to determine which flavor actually tastes like anything, because that's really what it came down to.

One member of the advertising staff suggested that to really get the flavors to come out, the condoms need to be warm. Like, there needs to be friction. But as none of us felt like really going to town on the bananas we used as vessels, the condoms temperature.

We used both Endurance and Trustex brand flavored condoms, which, by the way, are FDA-approved. And, contrary to what you might read on the Internet, flavored condoms do protect against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. That means you can both taste them other things with them. It's important to note that only sugarfree condoms should be used for vaginal intercourse because the ones with sugar in them could cause yeast infections. So now you know.

Ahem, here are the flavors ranked from worst to best:

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Eating Our Words