The Health Department posted reports on only about 50 places in the past week, and not one of those places got stuck with a citation or closure. Reminds us of when Kelly Kapowski's dad got laid off from his job at a defense contractor because world peace broke out (it didn't make much sense at the time either). One of those good problems, that leads to your family starving.

Several floors of the Methodist Hospital (6565 Fannin) were inspected, with mostly boring results. One highlight, however, was the Doctor's Coffee Bar, which earned a solitary violation, and one we've never come across: "Restricted foods served/offered for sale in a ready-to-eat form in a highly susceptible food establishment." Years of medical school and all you get is a susceptible coffee bar, an enormous salary and all the hydrocodone you can eat. All right, it doesn't sound that bad.

The Methodist Hospital sushi bar earned the same cryptic violation. Useful information in case hospital sushi somehow sounded like a good idea. And the dialysis floor earned a violation for an employee drinking out of an open container in a way that risks contamination. Useful information in case slamming a Tab in the dialysis center somehow sounded like a good idea.

The Arby's at 2330 S. Shepherd earned five violations, but none of them were as bad as its reputation suggests. The plumbing wasn't installed/fitted correctly; equipment was not kept intact/adjusted according to manufacturer's specs; equipment wasn't designed/maintained properly; there wasn't soap at each hand-washing sink; and the floors were not kept clean. Your favorite fine-dining establishment probably has similar issues. Your favorite fine-dining place probably does not serve liquid yellow cheese, though.

The Starbucks at 2801 S. Shepherd had bulk food stored in an unapproved manner; no Food Dealer's Permit on hand; and equipment that wasn't kept intact/adjusted according to manufacturer's specs. It also got hit with a violation for "Food establishment and all parts of the property used not kept free of: litter/items unnecessary for operation/items not necessary for maintenance/nonfunctional equipment/unused equipment." What that might entail, we have no idea.

The places that seemed to be closest to tickets or closure were the Post Oak Hilton (2001 Post Oak) and Bonnie's Beef and Seafood Company (6867 Gulf Fwy.). The Hilton didn't take proper measures anti-pest measures; didn't treat the ice machine right; didn't keep food-contact surfaces free of grease and/or soil deposits; didn't have a device to measure the temperature of the final wash of the dish cycle; and two other minor floor/wall/ceiling issues. Bonnie's had some openings to the outside that were unsealed; food not protected from consumer contamination; and food not held at proper temperature.