The first thing my oldest friend ever said to his future wife was "Do I look like I have gonorrhea?"
He was waiting for the results of an STD test and was a little nervous. (They're both successful, healthy lawyers now, which is sickening to us less successful people.) I'd never seriously compare a Health Department report to a disease as tragically embarrassing as the clap, but there was a tiny element of that same sort of queasy anticipation when I opened the write-up for AMC 30 at 2949 Dunvale. I'd broken down and eaten a weird hot dog there just last week, and I didn't want to be reminded that 1) I ate a goddamn movie theater hot dog for dinner, and 2) the teenager running the concession stand whipped the sweaty, lukewarm meat tube out of some hidden compartment that could easily have housed a couple week's worth of crust.
Turns out everything's good, though. An inspection last week turned up just one violation -- no Food Dealer's Permit. Nice job, AMC 30. Your hot dogs might not be top-notch, but at least they're clean.
In more good news, someone complained about the conditions at Crawfish and Noodles (11360 Bellaire). An inspector stopped by and found zero health violations. Someone wasted a dime there.
Not so good was House of Kabob (6433 Westheimer), which an inspector also visited after a complaint. The inspector issued a citation after turning up six violations, including: potentially hazardous food not maintained at proper temperatures in cold storage; dirty non-food-contact surfaces; single-service articles not individually wrapped or dispensed by approved dispenser; and poorly designed or maintained equipment.
Knuckleheads Neighborhood Sports Bar (2655 Winrock) also earned half a dozen violations but didn't get cited. Their issues included: wall/ceiling in poor repair; air ducts a source of dirt/dust; no Food Service Manager's Certification; and outdoor waste receptacles not kept covered.
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Privilege (6340 Westheimer), an upscale adult club, got hit with four violations: non-sewage liquid not drained according to law (just perfect given the setting); exterior surfaces not kept free of litter; poorly designed or maintained equipment; and no Food Service Manager's Certification. Interestingly enough, this place was slated to be called Knuckleheads, but the name was already taken.
Finally, the Seattle's Best in Williams Tower earned five violations, including: failure to provide water at 110 degrees Fahrenheit; ice machine not operated in a way that prevents contamination of the ice; and no Food Service Manager's Certification.