"The Nacho Grabber (N-Grip) is an eating utensil, a sort of fork-like, easily handled personal tongs used when eating nachos, which can be very messy when eaten as a finger-food," begins a confused-sounding press release from Invention Resource International about a recent Texan invention.

"Sort of fork-like," huh? I guess that if I were charged with doing publicity for the Nacho Grabber, I'd be at a loss for words too.

Because -- essentially -- Elisa Aviles of Spring, Texas, has invented small plastic tongs. The sort of small, plastic tongs that already exist in places like salad bars or Jason's Deli delivery trays. These plastic tongs are different, though, the press release says. The Nacho Grabber may be similar in appearance, but are -- in fact -- more specialized than that.

Similar in appearance to a large set of tweezers and featuring wide prongs at its distal end that grasp food easily, the Nacho Grabber (N-Grip) would thus enable the diner to easily get the bottom element of the Nacho Grabber under a desired tortilla chip or chips, then maneuver effectively to grasp the chip or chips by applying appropriate pressure with the top element of the tongs, squeezing the tongs together enabling the user to bring them neatly to their mouth.

Unlike, say, your fingers.

Wait, no, the press release covers that too:

A platter of loaded nachos, on the other hand, can be eaten with no utensils, and generally are -- but only at the cost of messy hands and spillage. Equipped with the Nacho Grabber (N-Grip), however, consumers -- whether at home or in a restaurant or bar-and-grill -- could enjoy a platter of heaping or loaded nachos efficiently and neatly.

I don't want to live in a world that thinks it needs another set of disposable plastic tongs to clutter up future landfills, and I don't want to live in a world that thinks eating nachos should be neat and efficient. Licking fake cheese and refried beans off your fingers is seminal to the entire nacho-eating experience.

On the other hand, at least good, old-fashioned American ingenuity isn't dead. It's just been busy eating nachos.