Bar Beat

Houston's 10 Best Bathrooms to Bang In

"It's a list of bathrooms to fuck in, not Homer's Odyssey. Don't go overthinking it."

My girlfriend hurled this sage wisdom at me earlier this week as I planned my trek to nearly two dozen bars I visited to compile this list. If nothing else, I am sure the Greek poet would respect my legwork.

This list was built by polling service-industry veterans, bar patrons and a slutty-looking girl I saw sitting out front of Boondocks (her emphatic answer was "Fuck off!" by the way; I couldn't find that bar on Yelp, however). We rated bars and their washrooms on ambience, ease of entry and egress, feasibility -- sorry, Grand Prize, but one person can't fit in your stalls alone, much less two -- and overall sex appeal.

Our list of the ten best bathrooms to have a shag in is as follows:

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Joshua Justice
Contact: Joshua Justice