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Hungry Man XXL Country Fried Pork Sandwich: 1/2 Pound of Freedom

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Eating a Hungry-Man TV dinner is a right of passage, like puberty or masturbation. A man is not complete till he has a night on the couch in his underwear, watching re-runs of the Dukes of Hazzard while eating a Hungry-Man fried chicken dinner. And now we have this, the XXL Country Fried Pork Sandwich, a half pound of food.

Think every food preservative known to man -- that is what is in this monstrosity. In fact, I think they invented a couple of preservatives just for this sandwich. It reminds of me those guys who burn flags. Why do they do it? Because they have the right to. Why did I eat this half pound of cholesterol and preservatives? Because I had the right to. Did I care what the side effects were? No! Give me frozen fried foods or give me death.

After microwaving this manwich in a paper towel for two minutes and 30 seconds, the smell of steaming pork began to permeate my senses. As I bit into it, I was reminded of every fast food sandwich I have ever had. The bun was hard in the center, and the patty seemed like a bunch of different pork parts pressed together and held with meat glue. Damn, I'd really wanted this to be good.

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Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.