For a glimpse of the impressive assortment of Heinz products available at the West Alabama H-E-B, see our slideshow.

In his "totally biased supermarket ranking," Sam Brown listed the H-E-B on West Alabama as No. 1. I heartily agree, but admit I, too, am heavily biased because it's a stone's throw away from my house. In addition to its proximity, the "new" H-E-B also stole my heart with its terrifyingly diverse selection of products (have you been to the barbecue sauce section?).

I'm specifically impressed with the colorful assortment of Heinz varieties, and during a recent trip, decided to count how many were on offer at the West Alabama H-E-B. (Never underestimate what I'll do to procrastinate on the dissertation.) In case you didn't know, that magical 57 advertised by the company is a murky measure of its inventory. Founder Henry J. Heinz supposedly chose that particular figure because 5 and 7 were his and his wife's lucky numbers, respectively. When the slogan was implemented, Heinz was already selling more than 57 varieties, and today, the number is considered merely indicative of the company's commitment to offering a wide range of products.

H-E-B certainly doesn't carry all the Heinz varieties, but they do carry A Whole Lot. I counted approximately 29 varieties (see following list). For the record, I did not count products from Heinz's family of companies/brands (e.g., Classico, Ore-Ida), only those products labeled "Heinz."

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1. Dill Relish
2. India Relish
3. Sweet Relish
4. Regular Ketchup
5. Reduced Sugar Ketchup
6. Low Sodium Ketchup
7. Hot & Spicy Ketchup
8. Organic Ketchup
9. "Simply Heinz" Tomato Ketchup
10. Original Cocktail Sauce
11. Zesty Cocktail Sauce
12. Dip & Squeeze Ketchup Singles
13. 57 Sauce
14. 57 Steak Sauce
15. 57 Steak Sauce with Honey
16. Worcestershire Sauce
17. Premium Horseradish Sauce
18. Chili Sauce
19. Spotted Dick
20. Treacle
21. Salad Cream
22. Beans with Tomato Sauce
23. Vegetable Soup
24. Cream of Tomato Soup
25. Spaghetti
26. White Vinegar
27. Apple Cider Vinegar
28. Tarragon Vinegar
29. Tartar Sauce

You can see I found many of the usual suspects (ketchup, relish, vinegar), plus a few surprises (canned spaghetti). I also delighted to learn that Heinz markets its salad cream (more popular with the Brits) as "pourable sunshine."

My conclusion to this sophisticated research project: "Heinz is much more than ketchup and H-E-B is mostly Heinz."

P.S.: Readers, if I missed any at the West Alabama H-E-B, speak up!