Lists

Ick or Treat: The 5 Worst Halloween Candies

Kids (and some adults) look forward to Halloween all year. And why not? You get to dress up like a lunatic and extort food from people at their very own front door, without any fear of repercussion. Every other night of the year, you get arrested for that shit.

So don't spoil Halloween for the few kids whose parents still let them cruise around unsupervised, accepting candy from strangers. Encourage this simple holiday and these innocent kids: don't give out any of the following candy.

5. Jujubes / Jujyfruits

As evidence that these candies have always been horrible, consider the fact that one of the original Jujube flavors was "rose." Name one kid who wants to eat rose-flavored candy. It was changed to cherry some time ago, but the fact still remains that the tough, overly chewy Jujubes are mostly flavorless excuses to rip the fillings out of your teeth. As an added bonus, they look like someone cut the nipples off of gigantic gummy bears. Gigantic, angry, nipple-less gummy bears who will come for your children in the night in search of revenge.

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Katharine Shilcutt