Fast Times

My Personal Boycott on Burger King Bacon Sundaes

I like bacon, but I'm not one of those crazy "bacon on everything, please" people. I got a big kick out of the article our own Katharine Shilcutt wrote this past January about "The Bacon Backlash," complete with a list of things that bacon does not make better. (Surprise! The list includes ice cream.) I like bacon with what I believe to be an appropriate level of enthusiasm: I don't own any shirts that say the word "bacon" or depict bacon on them, but I enjoy it on and with many types of meals -- that's where I fall on the bacon-liking scale.

It is precisely this moderate stance on bacon that has me surprised at myself lately. You see, I saw a commercial for the Burger King Bacon Sundae a few weeks ago, and I've been basically obsessed with this thing ever since.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to eat the thing.

I'm obsessed with the Burger King Sundae because my reaction to it was sudden and violent. I sat up straight upon seeing the commercial for the first time, and I was just...pissed. The sundae on the screen was just a regular sundae with bacon bits thrown on top, and a big slice of bacon stuck through the soft serve vanilla. I said to my husband, "How can this thing be any good? Burger King bacon isn't even good!"

Creative food is great, and I believe there is a bacon sundae in the world I could like -- maybe even love. But I do not believe that Burger King will make that sundae. Do we really think that Burger King has the capability to put together such disparate ingredients as bacon and ice cream with time, care and finesse to create a fascinating blend of savory-and-sweet? Burger King took their already mediocre ice cream offering and stuck some ("new thick hardwood smoked") bacon on it, mashed them together and then expected us to get excited about it. I don't even think that they are all that excited about it. It's like someone at BK woke up a few months ago and was all, "Hey, people still like bacon, right? If that's still like, a thing, we should put some on ice cream." It's surprisingly lazy, even for fast food.

None of this really explains why I am furious, rather than curious. But not only do I have no desire to taste this sundae, I have vowed not to do so. There are a lot of things I'll try, even if I don't think I want to eat them, but this cynical little sundae doesn't make the list.

Follow Eating Our Words on Facebook and on Twitter @EatingOurWords

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Christina Uticone