Sick: Snake Bitez and Twilight Sweethearts

When did pop culture become sick culture? No wonder kids are so messed up. I recently spotted two different odd-looking candies at Blockbuster and had to buy them: a Snake Bitez Gummi Snake, basically three feet of sugar and gelatin, and The Twilight Saga: New Moon Sweethearts, heart-shaped candies with pretty boy vampire Edward on the box. Even though a Gummi Snake sounds like something you would buy in a sex shop on Montrose, I felt especially ridiculous buying the Twilight candy. But hey, it was all in the name of food blogging.

I love corn syrup and artificial flavors just as much as the next guy, but this is way out of control. I guess a Sweetheart candy tastes the same no matter what you print on it; these said "live 4 ever" and "bite me." Some of the flavors where supposed to be, like, raspberry freezeout and lime frostbite, but they all just tasted like sugar.

The three-foot snake made out of corn syrup and gelatin made me sick after the first bite. I can't imagine eating the whole thing. I don't want to eat three feet of anything, especially if it is called "biting blue raspberry." The company that makes the Snake Bitez Gummi Snake is called Taste of Nature. What part of nature does Sorbitol and Titanium dioxide some from? You can get your own Gummi Snake from Blockbuster like I did, or at www.candyasap.com. I think I am going to call them and ask if they have something against children.

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Jason Kerr